Monday, July 25, 2011

9:18 pm

So Saturday night started out okay. I was going to skip dream feeding her at 11 to see if she would be okay till later on but she woke up herself at 11 pm to eat. After nursing her she went back to sleep easily...until 4am that is. She woke up to be nursed again and then was wide awake! Nothing we did put her back to sleep it was horrible. I also made the stupid mistake of not going to bed until 1am. When will I LEARN that I can no longer be a night hawk and sleep in! So we were up for the day after trying to get her to go to sleep for 2 hours and only getting 3 hours of sleep. Chris and I were both cranky, I think she was the only one that got enough sleep since she passed out in her bouncer around 8 and then again later on. I remember at 11 am thinking because I was so tired that it felt like 5 pm and then looked at the clock and was like nope its only 11 am :(.

The sucky thing is that Chris's parents phoned and invited us to go for a picnic with them and his sister's kids but we were soo tired that we didn't. It sort of sucked since it would have been nice to get out of the house and to see them. I ended up falling asleep on the couch at 3 pm, well all of us did really. Chris said I passed out then he waiting for monkey to fall asleep in her swing so he could take a nap on the floor as well. We all woke up a few hours later. I felt better, I still didn't get enough sleep but I could at least function again.

I also had Chris bring up the top mattress from the bed downstairs and put it on monkeys floor. I am such a first time mom I know, but I am not ready for her to be alone in her room! At least for the first few nights anyways. I hope that sometime this week or the weekend that I will be back in my own bed. It will be hard but I think I will just leave the mattress in her room for a bit just so I have the option of curling up on her floor if I really need to. I think I'm getting better at not freaking out all the time when she is asleep and constantly having to check in on her. Before when we started her routine I checked on her a lot now it's not as often. It's only a few times :) The other bad part of her not being in the same room as me is when I have to nurse her. I can just see it being hard for me to fall back asleep if I have to go from my room to hers and back again. I wish we could leave our doors open but we have two cats so that isn't an option. If I could I probably would feel better about not sleeping in the same room anymore. It's not even about thinking I won't hear her since we do have a baby monitor. I just don't like feeling like we are closed off from each other. I wish our basement was done because then I would just put the cats in there for the night but I can't. UGH. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, I guess. We will see how the rest of the week goes.

Last night was better. I tried not dream feeding her but she woke up a few hours later. It was weird since I woke up, I was dreaming as well but I can't remember about what now, I could have sworn it was 4 or 5am but when I looked at the clock I was shocked that it was only 1am! (we went to bed shortly after 11pm) I must have had some good deep sleep or something. She didn't go back to sleep easily at all. I had to sit in the rocker beside her crib for a little bit before she was sleepy enough that I could lay back down. I think the 4am session she went back down easier. All in all me and Chris had a better sleep then we did the night before. I think I will go back to dream feeding her before I go to bed again for awhile.


Weird that she woke up at 9:30pm screaming. I only got her to sleep at 9pm so I don't know what that was about. I couldn't sooth her so I ended up feeding her so maybe that was it since she ate off of both sides then fell back asleep. Hopefully she stays asleep now :( I don't know now if I should dream feed her before we go to bed or not now, since that will be in an hour or so.

The worst about this trying to get her to sleep etc is that I am afraid of doing the wrong thing and having something of a bad habit to break later, like always nursing her to sleep. I mean will she become dependant on that and not sleep easily when she is weaned? Do babies that are bottle fed generally fall asleep while eating their last bottle of the night before bed? I think we might go to the library tomorrow and get some books on the subject. I just really don't know whats normal for a four month old and if they just naturally get better at going to bed themselves and not have us either nurse/rock/hold/standing over their crib to go to sleep.
10:15 pm

Argh she just woke up again crying. I have no idea what is with that and of course it has me worried. I was able to sooth her to sleep quickly though at least. Hopefully this time she stays asleep for awhile.


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