Baby is sleeping in her swing. I guess she must have gotten enough the last time I fed her which was around 2 pm. We took a trip to work to show her to a few people that hadn't seen her and of course some that already had so I had tried to feed her at 11:45 am but it had only been about an hour since she last ate so I don't think she was to interested or got to much at all. So after getting home I thought she would be hungry and she was a bit cranky but again she didn't seem to eat to much. Maybe she has just gotten really efficient or something? She was rubbing her eyes (she just started doing this last week and it's the cutest thing ever) so I set her in her swing with her soother and turned it on and she is now napping :)
I tried pumping last night and this morning. I haven't pumped in a while but it is nice to have some milk to bring with us when we go somewhere just in case. Well it has like no suction on it anymore and it's frustrating the HELL out of me. I hate pumping but right now I don't even have the OPTION to pump. GAWD. After this I will hate the words breast feeding and anything that has to do with it. It finally is going okay and then the pump is being a jerk. SERIOUSLY! I'm so annoyed at the moment. I was reading on the LLL boards and someone mentioned that it might be the membrane that needs to be changed. I have two extra ones that haven't been used at all so next time I try I will use one of those. If that doesn't the same then the book has a few suggestions, although really they are all common sense. Another person on the LLL boards also mentioned try taking it apart and making sure when you put it back together that everything is put together tightly. That seemed to work for them. So I have a few things to try. If none of those work I will probably bring it with us when we see Heidi in about 3 weeks and/or call Medela and see what they say. I really hope it's something easy like the membrane just needs to be replaced. Ugh. Stupid thing.
Tomorrow monkey gets her first needles and I am not looking forward to it. I hope they aren't as bad as I think it's going to be. I could barely stand it when they did the heel prick test, but that had to be worse then two needles. :( Tomorrow I am also going to ask his recommendations on what type of formula to get for her and how I would go about transitioning from bf to formula feeding. I know last weekend I was ready to give up bf but it seems to be going way better this week so I will keep trucking for as long as I can. Right now my goal is 6 months and hopefully I can stretch it out to at least a year. I really want to continue with it since it's the best for her and the perks of bf are so much better then bottle feeding. She also seems to be not taking as long although it's still every 2-3 hours and she is sleeping at least a 4-5 hours stretch at night so that is really helping. I think at one point this week while I was feeding her I was just looking down at her and thinking that I might actually miss it if I stopped and that just made me sad. It seems that I just have to keep taking those pills (3 of each) 3 times a day. I'm glad that they aren't that expensive! Hmm I might have to calculate how much it would cost to get to 6 months old if there is only enough pills in one bottle for 10 days. When I think of it like that, that kind of sucks. The last two times I tried weening myself off of them, everything got really shitty and stressful and it seemed like she was having a hard time. Those times really made me seriously consider formula, since the constant worry and stress gets exhausting after awhile.
These boards here at the LLL have really helped me, I haven't posted as of yet because all my questions have been answered. There are tons of other mothers out there that have gone through the same thing I have. If your breastfeeding and having trouble definitely check it out: http://forums.llli.org/index.php
I can't believe it's almost the end of May already. It seems like yesterday was my birthday and now it's almost June. Monkey is two months old now!! She was two months on Tues! Time flies by quickly! I also look at the breast feeding in that perspective as well. Sure it seems like it's a long time to do this, since it's so often and time consuming, but in the long run it's only a scratch on the surface and this time with baby will be gone so quickly even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. I want to do what's best for her and if it's only going to get easier I might try to get past 3 months and see how it is. If I give up now I will never know, and I didn't go through all that trouble to stop when it seems like it's going okay finally. Took a lot of tears , stress and determination to get this far I might as well keep trucking. Who knows though a few days from now I might feel differently again.
I also want to finish painting the baby's room this weekend. I just have to stop at Michael's and get the paint for the tree and leaves. I'm excited but scared to put anything over the green in case I screw it up lol! I probably will tape the outline of the tree first before starting then the rest will be easy. We need to get some shelves for the baby's room as well, since we have no where to display some of her stuffed animals, books etc. Should be fun though!