Tuesday, June 21, 2011

not a fun day..

9:43 am

So I just called the doctor's office to see if I can get the prescription of Donperidone. I gave her the pharmacy number and she said she would see to it. I have no idea if she will call me back when it's done or not. I guess if I don't hear from her by 2 or 3 I will call her back. I really hope this works considering poor monkey is not getting enough and she is killing my breasts in the process. Trying to get her to delatch when she is no longer getting anything but doesn't want to delatch is really hurting my nipples. Geez I go from getting blocked ducts all the time to under supply. Seriously :(

11:45am

Seriously a plugged duct? SERIOUSLY!? Just when I know I don't have enough to feed her so she is content I get a plugged duct in the right side? WHAT THE HELL! This is going to be a long day until I can the prescription. She is crying all the time :( and only stops if she gets distracted. I might have to supplement an oz after each feeding until I notice a change in my supply just so I know she is getting enough. I just don't understand how she is still gaining and having enough wet diapers when she is getting so much less? Although Heidi did say because there is so little what she is getting is high in fat so that is good. She definitely is not just getting fore milk. Why is this so freaking hard and a pain in the ass. I never thought breastfeeding was anything like this that is for sure. I thought it was easy. Just another thing you don't know until you actually go through it. I really don't know where I get the patience and inner strength to keep at this! I think it's mostly because I am stubborn and I don't want to give up. lol. At least my stubbornness is good for something :D

I'm also hopeful that when my supply is back to where it should be I will have time to actually work out so I can lose the rest of the baby weight. I lost 20 pounds already and then it just stalled and I am stuck currently where I am. I need to lose another 30 :( I know I could also eat better but once I start working out that will come hand in hand. Right now it's to exhausting considering I feed her then I would have to work out right away and then would have to feed her right after. Especially if I did a 45 min workout. I know I need to take the workouts slow and not do to high intense stuff but seriously! I plan on just using walk away the pounds since it's easy and surprisingly gives you a good work out and builds up a good sweat. Also probably add in some stomach muscle workouts into the mix. It's so hard right now since she cries like 15 mins after I feed her. I just want nothing more then to have enough milk for her :( I'm so glad that my doctor is in the office today since they have like weird schedules and they are not in there at the same time every day. Just depends on when he has to be at the hospital.

12:03pm

Strange the receptionist at my doctors just called back asking me for the dosage since she said when she asked him he was confused and said does she want to stop breastfeeding? She was like nope. So she said that as far as he knew it was to dry me up. He must be thinking of something else though considering all the info that Heidi gave me said otherwise and she has seen breastfeeding mothers go on it a lot. Unfortunately I couldn't find the dosage right then so I need to call her back after 1pm (I assume it is lunch time :) She said once she has that they can call it in but they just don't want to prescribe it wrong and then it would cause me even more problems. I just searched for it online and it says the same thing that as a side effect it helps stimulate the milk production. It's usually used for improving motion through the esophagus and sometimes controlling nausea and vomiting. A side effect is has in lactating women is more milk production which I find really weird but hey whatever works. ~shrugs

7:17pm

yeah for unplugged duct! It's about time geez. Chris was able to pick up my prescription on the way home. So I have taken the first pill. I'm probably only going to take 10mg 3x a day for two days and if that doesn't help then 2 pills 3x a day for a few days. If there still isn't an improvement then it will be 3 pills 3x a day for 4 days. Hopefully it will work with only one pill. It only cost (with our med plan) about 13 bucks for 100 so that should last a bit if I only need 3 a day. I really hope this works. Right now I have been feeding her formula (alimentum sample that Heidi gave us) after a few feedings just to top her up because usually after a feeding she is still screaming because she is hungry. Hopefully I will be able to stop doing that soon though! I feel so bad when I know she isn't getting enough :( At least for right now I can stop with the herbs. I really don't think they are doing anything anymore anyways if my milk supply dropped this low!

9:24 pm

I really hate that I have to supplement her with formula but I can't let her starve and be hungry. Well she isn't starving. She has been getting enough so far to gain and it has only been the last few weeks that I have felt that she hasn't been getting enough so I am glad we caught it now and not in another month. I look forward to not feeding her every 1.5 hours though, and that is the only reason why she isn't starving! Feeding her so often at this stage is so tiring :( I guess I am still worried that she will start to prefer the bottle and be mad when my let down isn't as instant as the bottle. Although she is 3 months so she shouldn't have any nipple confusion anymore and now she is really good with opening her mouth wide and latching properly. I hope this medicine works!
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