Saturday, December 1, 2012

Anxiety, it is getting so close!

I had my doctors appointment on thrus (nov 29th). everything seemed good, the scale is still around 220 (yuck!!!) and babies heart rate was at 140 which he said was also good. I guess I was only 1 cm dilated so he did a membrane sweep, which really wasn't not fun at all! Thankfully that is over with. So we scheduled an appointment for next friday. He said if I make it to that one then we would talk about how to proceed. I keep thinking this baby will come on the 8th but who knows. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore since its uncomfortable and tiring walking or standing to much and trying to sleep. But I am still freaking out about actual going into labour and delivering. Plus I probably will be stuck at the hospital for a few days. The only good thing with that is we are getting a private room so that might make it better. Although 200 a day sucks ass.

After the appointment we went to pick up monkeys Christmas photos since they were in. Unfortunately there was only one girl there and she was taking photos so I had to wait for like 10 mins. I normally wouldn't have cared but I am 39 weeks pregnant, I was starting to overheat and I really just wanted to go home! Plus I was super tired since the night before we went to bed late, then I had a pain in my left side that went away but came back 30 mins later and it was horrible! It might have been the way I was sleeping.  But I was uneasy sleep because I was wondering if I was going to go into labour then. No such luck.

Yesterday when I got up for the day I was thinking about monkeys pictures and sure enough they didn't give us our freaking Christmas cards that came with the package we bought. Everything else was there though. I called and they said just to come get them. I was annoyed though since I didn't want to have to go back there especially this close to my due date!

Thankfully Chris went there today. It was nice that I didn't have to leave the house. He said that the line up was insane in there so it took him a bit to get to the cash to ask about the cards. Still hello! thanks for giving them to me when I went there the first time! shesh.

I think I might be losing the mucas plug though, hopefully that means that my cervix is softening! I wish labour was over with. I don't know how I am going to be able to handle a new baby and monkey as well. Chris mentioned the other day that he wished that he had that extra week of holidays now to take after I had the baby. I now agree as well although it was nice to have that week off together in August even though I was to tired to do anything much. My anxiety keeps going up and down :( I just want to meet the new little bean and have this horrible delivery part over with!! lol

10:30 pm:  It still seems like I am losing my mucus plug, some still tinged with blood. I have been having more intense braxton hicks contractions I guess. Not painful but still uncomfortable. I'm so not ready for this. The worst is, is that it's night time! I don't want to have to get mom to drive up here in the middle of the night. I hope if it comes down to that my sister will come with her! :( The anxiety of possibly having to bring monkey to the hospital is starting to suck and I have no idea when to call mom? Like if they keep happening of course but what happens if they aren't as intense or I don't get anymore do I wait or just call her and see what she thinks? I would have for her to have to drive all the way up here for nothing. At least if she comes up she will be here just in case, but then I might be okay tomorrow then she would have to go home and come up again? ahhh this sucks I hate once again being so far away from them!!
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