Monday, March 21, 2011

(written on april 17th 2011)

So mom got here okay thank god! Chris said when he got back from the store that he was thinking of asking the store if he could use the phone to call me to tell me to call mom and tell her not to come up today since it was so shitty out. So I am really glad she got here okay. She said she left early enough and took her time to get here. It was still really bad out though so it's good she got here okay. I told her where Chris was because she thought he was already on his way to work. I filled her in on the night and how crappy it was. I'm sure I was pretty weepy still. I was glad she was here. I was also relieved when Chris got back. He had got some formula and two bottles. He then got ready for work and went in. With moms help we sterilized the bottles and nipples, made the formula and I fed her about 1oz.

Then since it was after 9 (this was the longest wait ever) I called the hospital back and was hopeful to get an appointment to see Heidi that day. The worst part is that while we were at the hospital, at some point the stupid construction people cut both our lines again so I had to do all my calling on our stupid cell phone (pay as you go - just a basic cell). Thankfully when I called the nurse who answered seemed nicer and more understanding and sympathetic to my shitty night. She said Heidi had a opening at 1pm. Thank GOD! So I called Chris but since he was in a meeting I told them to just get him to call back. I think I might have taken a nap here and told Mom what time we had to go to both the doctor and to the lactitionist.

So Chris came and got me and we went to see Heidi. I was pretty much ready to give up breast feeding at this point. I really could not take another feeding off of my sore poor nipples. I had fed her that oz in the morning after mom came and fed her another oz around 11 before we went to see Heidi I just could not bring myself to put her on again. I figured since I was going to get help it would be okay. That day would have been the deciding factor in regards to weather I would continue this way or not. The meeting with Heidi went well and monkey was hungry too which was good. The person I had talked to when I phoned to make the appointment said if it was a problem with latching then make sure she was hungry when we went.

Heidi brought me hope that I could actually do this and pointed out a few things that I was doing wrong when trying to get her to latch on. Also she explained how to tell if she was getting a let down or swallowing. Basically telling me the whole process really helped me a lot. She also mentioned that when I went to the doctor to mention about this medication to help with my nipples to treat cracks and soreness. She said it would get better if I used that. Also she mentioned that I should either get a pump or rent one to pump after feeding her to help bring my milk supply up again since it might have been suffering due to frustration with feeding and improper latching. The worst thing about all of this was that on Sunday before the crappy night happened I was so relieved to start see that my milk was beginning to transition from colostrum to milk, so I thought I was on the right track.

She also hooked me up to her pump she had there to show me what it would feel like when I am pumping on my own. We didn't get a whole lot out but there was some. She fed it to monkey in a little pill cup thing saying that I could always feed her then express and then top her up with that. I was thinking that probably would be a good idea for me since then I would know that she was at least getting that much. It's so hard to tell exactly how much she is getting since our boobs don't have measuring ticks on them. Anyways after this meeting I was confident and felt that I could actually do this! She had a person from healthy babies with her that day as well. She was just sitting in on her meetings for the day. She was pretty nice and I didn't mind that she was there. So then we were off to the doctor.

The doctor appointment went alright. She was down in weight from 8lbs 11oz to 8lbs 1oz. We expected that though since all babies lose some of their birth weight and then regain it all within two weeks of being born. Everything else seemed to be okay with her. They also gave me a prescription for stuff to put on my nipples.  So we went to the pharmacy that is in the same building. Thankfully they rushed to mix this stuff since I think it was almost closing time for them. WHOOPS I didn't even think about that since it was about 5 something then. Thankfully they were nice and filled it there for us. It saved us a trip to SDM to get it filled. I think the amount they gave me will like last me forever and then some. geez. It cost like 50 bucks as well and my insurance card from work wasn't working either! But he said to keep the receipt and once we figure out what is going on we can send it in and get reimbursed if they cover any of it.

So we went home and the feeding time around 7ish went really well and made me feel once again that I was going to be ale to do this! It was such a relief to me since I wanted to breastfeed so bad. The trick is definitely getting her to latch properly. When we were with the lactionist I was really surprised that it didn't hurt at all when we got monkey to latch correctly. It surprised me considering the insta pain that went on every time I had tried to latch her. After that feeding unfortunately, it went to shit again. The next time I fed her was okay but not the greatest. Then all through the night it was a struggle!


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