home finally...and I can't believe people sometimes rant..

(written on April 17th 2011)

By the time Chris came in I really was not in a good state. I was exhausted, sore, depressed. I was ansy for Chris to get here. It seemed like forever for him to come. He must have came around 9:30 or so. It was a big relief when he finally did show up. Compared to the first night that I was there the second was so horrible. Like I said I really didn't get any sleep. I spent most of the morning dozing. A few people came by to ask if I was hoping to go home this day. Which I was I wanted nothing more then to be home! But I was also worried because of the bleeding and the amount of blood. Thankfully the really nice day nurse was on again so it was nice to be able to talk to her about it. She assured me that the amount was normal and told me what to watch out for and said it could last for weeks. They also had to have the go ahead from the pediatrician that the baby was okay to go home and another doctor for me to go home. It was basically a whole lot of waiting.

They also had to do a few more tests on monkey before she was able to be release. One was the heel prick test. That was so hard to watch. They had to prick her heel and then like milk the blood out into a vial. It took her forever to get enough blood and the whole time she was screaming her head off. Especially when they pricked her heel. Chris was trying to calm her down. It just made me want to cry. I couldn't even comfort her since I was stuck in the bed.

After she was done the nurse had to put blood smears on two pages needing probably about 10-15 of them. The worst part is she wasn't even half way done before she had to re-prick her foot in a slightly different spot because the first spot stopped bleeding. Again it was hard to watch. I didn't want to see her in pain! But I knew that it was for a good cause since they use that blood to test and see if she has any indicators for any development issues or whatever it is. I tried napping for awhile while we were waiting for the okay to leave. Since Chris was there to watch the baby I was able to relax enough to sleep some and I totally needed sleep.
The pediatrician stopped by to check on monkey since he was the one that had to okay her release. He was soo nice and said that on Monday we could come in and get her checked out. If your breast feeding you have to be able to see a doctor within three days of release to make sure baby is doing okay and a week if your bottle feeding. He said he was more then happy to see her until we found our own doctor. Thank god for him! It was nice of him because otherwise I wouldn't know what to do! It's hard to get an appointment with my doctor and he is all the way back home and we have no doctor here. Not a fun thing to find that's for sure but at least monkey had someone to go to for any problems. Also they wouldn't release us if we didn't have anyone to take her to. He was awesome about it after we explained our situation to him.

Basically after that we got the okay to go home. I was still nervous about going home because of the soreness but I was so happy to be getting the hell out of the hospital. Also mom had said that she took the week off that was coming up so she would come up for a few days to help me out. She had told me that on Friday and I was sooo glad to hear that because I was wondering what the hell I was going to do on Monday! It was so awesome of her!

Chris brought our stuff back down to the car and got the baby seat while I changed into normal clothes. I have to say it felt awesome to be in my own clothes! I wish I could have not worn the stupid gowns they had but since I was bleeding so much I didn't really want to wear anything else. My shoes though when I put them on were really tight but they still fit. I never realized that my feet were swollen until this time. We got baby into the car seat and started the journey down to the car. I wished now that I had Chris get a wheel chair for me. I could not walk to fast and by the time we got down to the entrance way I was really sore and just wanted to sit. It took a lot out of me and exerting myself that much that soon was a bad thing. He left me with monkey at the chairs by the door while he went and got the car. It seemed to take him forever but finally he was there and I was able to get into the car and we were finally on our way home.

Unfortunately while we were driving down the main street a stupid ass woman in her SUV almost ran into us. She was semi behind us in the lane beside us and was swerving to get around a back flow of people turning left at the lights but since there was so many of them the last few cars were not in the lane for turning so she had to go around them sort of. She didn't even look to make sure there was no one beside her. I screamed and Chris honked his horn because she was coming into our lane and would have pushed us to the right. Well she got all pissy and started honking her horn as well after she slammed her brakes on a bit and backed off. That had me in tears. Yep stupid emotions  but god we were coming home from the hospital with baby and we almost got hit!! geez. I was so freaking pissed at her. Chris was giving her the evil eye when we got to the lights where we had to turn. We were in the turning lane and she as in the lane beside us basically level with us at the lights. Chris said that she wasn't looking at us though. Probably because she realized that she was in the wrong and that is why you CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOTS!! and not swerve into other lanes without looking!! Especially on a busy FOUR LANED road. Seriously!

Anyways it was nice to be home. I really did not like the way I was feeling though. I'm sure it was a combo of lack of sleep, giving birth and loss of blood. My whole body felt weird all light like and I just felt wrong. It was hard to take a nap I didn't think I was going to fall asleep. I had a really good cry before I did finally nod off. It was hard because I knew I would have to get up and feed monkey soon after I fell asleep. It was good that Chris was there to watch her. I did feel a bit better after I woke up. It was still a rough time. I was definitely having the baby blues. Not to mention my nipples were really killing me due to breast feeding. I started loathing when I had to breast feed her, which at this point felt like all the time.