Monday, February 11, 2013

baby well visit

We had Chlobug's baby well visit last thrus. She had to get her first needles and I was so nervous. I hated watching Monkey get them done and wasn't looking forward to getting Chlobug started. I have to say it is a pain in the butt dragging two kids anywhere in the middle of winter, especially when one is a toddler so you have to carry her as well. The stroller would have been a pain in the butt just to put Monkey in it for a few minutes. This was almost like when we took both of them to the furniture store! Not FUN at all since we were there so long and waiting for them to approve us buying a bedroom set. Mental note on that one - get a babysitter! Anyways,  my winter jacket still doesn't fit properly either so having to carry the baby car seat and a diaper bag with a jacket that doesn't do up really is annoying.

When we first got there we saw the nurse first who weighed and measured her. She even asked me if I was okay with getting the vaccinations which I thought was awesome. We have no problems with them since we think it is good for her to be vaccinated. There were two needles and the first dosage of that one medicine that a few years ago was not fully covered. We had to get her to drink that one though. Chris took care of that and held her during the needles. Monkey was happier then anything watching toopy and binoo on youtube. She didn't even glance around when Chlobug started crying due to her vaccinations lol. That actually was a relief since it might have been even more stressful for me. Chloe is a trooper she cried for a few minutes and that was it even though she had a needle in each leg poor thing. I had made some formula so Chris fed her some of that afterwards and she was content. Then the only thing I was nervous about was if she reacted in anyway to the shots (which she didn't thankfully). I also managed to get a few bottles of infant Tylenol which is nice since I didn't have to go out and purchase any. We didn't need to use any anyways which was good, but it is always nice to have some in the house just in case.

After that the Doctor came in to check her, listened to her lungs and heart. We talked about a few things that I was worried/curious about. Her hands and feet looking mottled from time to time and her eyelids turning red. He said that was nothing to worry about and just due to an immature system.

We also talked about depression and post partum depression at length. I felt stupid as shit mentioning it but I knew I needed to. I hate taking medicine though so I opted to see if it gets better before trying to take something for it. It never was always everyday but it gets annoying after awhile. I also  seemed to fear that something bad would happen in certain spots of the house (mostly near the stairs) and I would avoid those areas or be very cautious if I need to go near them. I also had fears of accidentally pouring hot water for tea on either of them when I am pouring some for myself. Or knocking a pot of boiling water on either of them. The stupid thing is any of what I mentioned above I would never do. It is not something I think about as I am doing it for example pouring myself tea. I wouldn't be holding Chlobug while I was doing that or have Monkey in the kitchen with me when I was doing that or boiling water on the stove for food. These fears are all happening during nursing Chlobug in the chair. It is so stupid and frustrating to sit there and worry about something that would never happen because I would never put either of them in that situation! My imagination is just picking the worst case scenario of what could happen at home and it gets frustrating because I sit there and worry about it!
Chlobug's next appointment is in 2 months (early April) so I will see how I am between that time to see if I need to try meds or talk to someone. It is surprising to me since that appointment I have had depression or things like that everyday. I never realized how often or whatever so I might give something a try. I sometimes am sitting on the couch nursing her and I feel nothing it sucks. Or I feel emty inside or angry or stressed about fixable stuff. UGH. At least the doctor was reassuring that this is pretty normal especially since I did just have a second baby.

So Saturday comes along when our nice new bedroom set is to be delivered. It is and they set it up. It is awesome I love it! I love how big it is, how nice it is and how comfy the mattress is!! I was so looking forward to sleeping in it as well. I was worried about bringing Chlobug to bed and nursing her due to a very brand new mattress and off gassing. We decided that I could still nurse lying down but watch TV to keep myself awake and return her to her cradle when I was done. Well then I walked into the bedroom and it stunk of new furniture/whatever it was painted with. This freaked me out and stressed me out. We argued a lot, I looked it up online and did not feel comfortable having Chlobug in there. We opened both windows wide open and circulated the air from the furnace and hoped that it would get rid of the smell. So we didn't sleep in our new bed yet :( She has been sleeping in the playpen and us on a mattress on the living room floor. I also placed vineger in the room and some baking soda to hopefully take the smell away. Today (mon) it still smells but not as bad I don't think.

Yesterday I had so many solutions going through my head like we would have to put Chlobug in Monkey's room and I would have to go get her and nurse her in the hallway or in the front room or we would have to lock the cats in the basement (which we did the last two nights and they spent the night banging on the door and meowing :( ) and leave our door open and have her cradle just outside our doorway in the hallway. I have no idea what we are going to do! I just want to sleep in our new bed DAMMIT!


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