Friday, January 4, 2013

Can I say 'I hate nursing' again?

It's so hard now to find time to journal which really sucks because I feel like so much has happened and I have forgotten to write it down.

Monkey during the holidays drank from the plastic orange shot glass Chris uses to give her some juice by herself for the first time. There wasn't to much left in it but we were both amazed that she was able to do it herself a bit. Although when he tried it again she ended up spilling a lot on her but it's a start. Shes been a pro at the sippy cup for along time now so it's abut time really but we will take it slow. She also surprised us last night when we were just finishing up supper. Chris had Chlobug in his arms while he was eating since she was crying and he asked me to get some pie for him. He spelled it out though 'can you get me some p-i-e please?', I was like okay but there isn't a lot left. We both did a double take when Monkey started saying iIwant some pie. Smartypants!

It was so nice to have Chris off for 1.5 weeks over Christmas. Near the end I was nursing Chlobug in bed in the morning to get some more rest and then we both slept in a couple of hours. I didn't have to worry about monkey since Chris was getting up with her. So it was nice to get some extra zzz's. I miss that, since I can't do that anymore because once monkey wakes up we all get up. We didn't go home for Christmas though which sucked but I was to nervous about having to drive there with Chlobug still only a few weeks old. Also being around so many people and having two suppers to go to etc was just to much for me. I was getting anxiety just thinking about it. Since I am nursing as well I just couldn't do it. I'm sure the stress would have killed my supply. It's sort of a good thing since it took  Monkey like 4 hours to open her presents. I don't think she yet understands the whole Christmas thing. So with a lot of coxing and help she finally opened all her gifts. Staying home was also good because it seemed like the baby was eating every hour. I think she probably was going through a growth spurt or something.

New years was the same, we just stayed home. I avoided watching anything new years related on TV so I wouldn't get depressed lol. I couldn't even have a drink at home since I am nursing.

Chlobug has been okay. She is nursing well aside from sometimes feeling like she is always hungry. This time around it is going better, since I am not afraid that she isn't getting enough. I am just finding that the constant nursing and holding her, that I have hardly any time for Monkey and it makes me really sad. I am probably going to be weaning Chlobug earlier then I did Monkey. Right now I am trying to get to 6 weeks and then maybe I will start. It is just to frustrating for me especially at night that I can't do anything since she just wants to eat all the time and always when I am trying to do something. It also takes a bit of time as well. I don't know I feel guilty though thinking about it. I would love to get to 3 months though but the night time feedings are hard. I guess I might try just bottle feeding her in the middle of the night instead? It's really hard to get her to go to sleep at night since like monkey, she always wakes up when we set her down in the cradle. Sometimes she does go to sleep but most of the time not and then after an hour or so of trying to get her to sleep I drag myself out of bed to nurse again. Then in the middle of the night it's the same thing she is dead asleep at the end of the nursing session but as soon as she is in that cradle she wakes up and cries forever. I really don't know if it will be any different with formula but at least then it won't take as long. I don't know what to do since I feel guilty thinking about it but seriously I want my body back I want to be able to go somewhere and not have to rush home in less then an hour. I have only went out once since I came home from the hospital and I went to Michael's craft store to get a few things.


Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...