So I haven't written in my journal in the last week. I haven't really felt much like blogging or doing anything really. I really didn't feel all that well last week. Mostly tired and felt pretty sluggish and no energy. Today has been much better. I don't know what changed but I sure am glad.
Last Friday the 26th we had our appointment with Heidi. We booked it at her suggestion the last time we saw her, so we could make sure that she is on track weight wise since we don't go see the doctor again until she is 6 months. Her weight was 14lbs 7oz (with clothes and diaper), so she estimated she probably was around 14lbs 4oz. She has dropped of her weight curve but Heidi said that is normal at this age. So in a few weeks it will be good to see if she is staying on that curve or if she is still dropping. She still is only getting about 2oz each feeding but she seems to be okay with it and has had enough diapers.
I haven't been logging when she eats anymore and I think it's helped me with my sanity. I felt like I was feeding her all the time, which I was, but I was always watching the clock. I think I am feeding her maybe 10 times a day instead of 12 but that is only because we are trying to get her into a nap routine. Not recording her feedings though is such a relief. A few times I needed to do so again just to make sure I was feeding her enough, but like Chris said, I can bf her anytime I want to. I don't have to wait until she wants to since if she isn't hunger she won't eat.
Before seeing Heidi I was pretty convinced I wanted to ween. My original goal was to nurse until 6 months then switch to formula and start to feed her solids. I was just worried about how I was going to get her to sleep for naps since I always bf her to sleep. Plus I am taking donperidone and I wasn't sure how to ween while still taking that. But after talking to Heidi I've decided that somewhere between 6-12 months I will wean but only after she isn't dependant on breast milk as her main source of food. Heidi mentioned that eventually she would only need to bf about 3 times daily. That sounds pretty easy and she mentioned that eventually we will be able to give her cows milk. She made me feel like once again I can do this. In a few weeks we will have her 6 month checkup and shots and be able to discuss solids with the doctor. I seriously can't believe I have made it this far! It's so unreal to me since I remember when I was in tears crying on the couch because I didn't think I could continue but knew that in my heart formula wasn't an option. I am pretty stubborn like that :),
I am still having problems with her sleeping. The victory I felt last week was short lived. Today I am logging basically everything we do. Every time she yawns, gets cranky, rubs her eyes, eats, goes for a nap etc. Hopefully after a few days or a week or so a pattern will develop. So far today I have had her go to sleep easily with nursing and stay asleep when I transfer her to her crib. That in itself is a victory since usually between standing and trying to put her down she wakes up. She still woke up after about 20 mins. Both times I was able to lull her back to sleep. I was out of there again within 10 minutes.
I am doing something that Chris said to me over the weekend. He was trying to get her to nap because I needed a break from doing it and sometimes when someone else does it they find something that works. Well at one point he said to me that she was going back to sleep until I stuck my head over the crib and she saw me. Then she was all smiles and wanted to play. So today every time I had to go back in there to lull her I stuck my arm through the slats on the side to sooth her and that way we couldn't make eye contact nor could she see me. It worked! It actually worked.
I still need to do a few things to make her room darker though, especially with the door. It's fairly dark in there now but anytime we go in or out the light from outside lights her whole room up. I might need to put two nails above the frame of the door so I can hang a dark blanket on it and open and close the door between the door and the blanket to minimize how much light from the hallway/front door goes into her room. I also think if I can ever find my book light I might have to spend a few days in her room while she naps so that at any sign of movement I can touch her / sooth her so she never wakes up enough to not go back to sleep. According to the no nap solution eventually she won't need you to do that so here is hoping. I don't mind staying in there to do that if I can read and sitting on the floor beside her crib I doubt she would see the light from the book light so it won't wake her up. It sucks staying in there in the dark and staring at the wall!
I have mentioned this to my mom before but I still find it amazing that every night I go to sleep and overnight I am always awake 5-10 mins before Monkey wakes up wanting to eat. This is never the same time so it's really neat how the mommy instinct kicks in after you have a baby, even if it doesn't feel like it. :)
Here's hoping that tommarrow and her naps are better yet again. Today I feel like there has been some progress but I know I have felt that before. Only time will tell I guess!