Monday, June 13, 2011

OMG! sooo stressed...

The past few days have not been fun. At the end of last week monkey started crying but crying like she was in pain and any time I went to burp her she would fling herself backwards and go straight as a board and there was no bending her forward to try and get her to burp. Even trying to put her over the shoulder resulted in the same thing. It is so hard to hear her cry like that and I just wanted to cry. I swear anything to do with feeding her just sucks. I was finally getting to the point where breast feeding was fine, even though feeding her so often is tiring and it's hard to do it anywhere else but at home, then this happens.

Friday night was the worst! Saturday partially during the day she was okay. Mom came up with Aunt Lena, Tam and Missy to see the baby and Steph joined us when we went out for Chinese food and she was okay throughout the whole time. I think she was getting hungry by the time we were done so she was getting a bit cranky but that didn't compare to her screams of pain :( So we got home Chris fed her some expressed milk while I went to Michael's with Tam, Missy and Steph and when we got back she was sleeping. She did do the screaming a bunch while everyone was there though. It's so hard to know why she is doing it. She swallows a lot of air and I can hear it go down when she is eating so it could be that, or is it because she was tired and couldn't get a good sleep because she was being woken up by us or was she getting enough food and is crying in hunger? I have no idea :(

When we got back from Michael's she was sleeping but soon woke up after we got there. We were walking her around and rubbing her belly and trying to get the gas out. She was burping periodically and it just seems like once she got a bubble out it relieved her for a bit until another one hurts her. Ugh it was so hard to see. I felt totally helpless. I'm so glad Chris was there to help me though. I definitely was dreading being home alone with her today while he is at work.

After they all left it just got worse and every time she fell asleep I just felt like it didn't solve the problem and she would just wake up in pain. So I couldn't even relax when she was asleep. It was so frustrating that I messaged my friend saying that I didn't know if we were going to make it to her sons 1st birthday the next day. I had planned on going but with this going on yeah I just couldn't see how I could cope being around people I don't know and having her screaming and feeling stupid when nothing I do calms her down. My friend sent a message back saying you know the best thing you could do is come anyways and talk to other moms and it's easier to give mommy to mommy advice and support in person and it's a kids bday someone is bound to be cranky. Chris urged me to go to feeling also that I need to get out of the house.

The only thing that stops me now is it's so hard for me to nurse her anywhere but home. When we go home it's easy to take my nursing pillow and go into a room and feed her. I find it to hard to nurse her in the cradle hold and with my left wrist hurting like hell with any pressure on it it just doesn't work. Sunday morning she seemed better and wasn't cranky at all so we decided to go anyways even if we didn't stay to long as it was a short drive. So off we went. I was scared she would be super cranky and crying in the car ride and I had no idea if I should sit in the front or in the back. Thankfully she slept the whole way there so it was less stress for me.

The day wasn't to bad. For the most part she was happy. I tried feeding her as best as I could a few times. Still really awkward but it worked out okay I think. My friend's sister was there she said that baby's usually get gasses during the 3-6 month time so that made me feel better that maybe it's just not her. I mean she seems content any happy other times (like now) so it can't be to serious. Obviously I will watch her and take her to the doc if I feel she needs to go. Her sister said I have to try and watch what I eat to because if I eat anything that makes me gassy it will make her as well. She said caffeine and broccoli are the worst. The thing about that though is I've read that that isn't true so it's hard to know who to believe. But the way I see it her sister had 3 kids so I am more ampt to lean towards what she said. Even if it's not true it's really not to hard to do anyways just in case because who knows. You can find info online from various trusted sources that tell you different things and contradict each other anyways. So I would believe someone I know who I know knows what they are talking about, then some random author of an article online/in a book.

Monkey was pretty good through most of the day. Unfortunately she did start to get cranky and start to do the whole screaming like she was in pain etc. She was fine after she farted a whole lot when we were upstairs and after I fed her and she was okay for a bit after that so I don't know if gas is the main culprit. She did start with her crankiness again once we went back down stairs though. It's so sad to hear and I was starting to get stressed because I suck at calming her down :( My friend had given us some gripe water that she said she won't need anymore which was awesome since it was one thing we forgot to pick up when we were on the way to her house. I wanted to try that when she was upset to see if it helped.

She slept again on the way home which was nice but was once again when I was feeding her anytime we tried burping her she did that scream. We gave her some gripe water but to say it worked or not is hard to tell. She did get a big burp out though , but hard to say if it came out because Chris was burping her or because of the gripe water. UGH!

Today hasn't been to bad. She didn't do it at 5:30 when I fed her but did when we got up around 9 something. I tried to burp her but she was having none of it so I put her back on and she seemed like she wanted to eat. So maybe it's because she isn't getting enough? But if that was the case you think she would be crying for food all the time and right now she is content playing on her mat. Okkkay as soon as I typed that she started getting fussy (but it's almost time to feed her so yeah) I don't know what to think! ahhhh The worst part is last night I called to see if I could see the lactation consultant this week and she is booked right up! The earliest I could get was next week. Seriously that sucks! and we are going home this weekend.  Heidi will be able to tell me how much she is getting out of each side when she eats since she weighs her before and after each side. I should have booked the appointment last week! :(


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