Thursday, June 9, 2011

first crib nap attempt...

12:15 pm

So I just finished feeding monkey and have tried for the first time to put her down for a nap in her crib. I just want to rush back to her room. It's hard not to be able to see that she is okay or what she is doing. :( We have the monitor in there and I can hear the mobile but still. I can't just look over and see that she is still breathing. This is so HARD. We need to start putting her to bed in there soon as well since she is really getting way to big for the cradle. I probably won't sleep at all when we do that for like the first few weeks. I'm so afraid something is going to happen to her. Ugh this sort of sucks. I wish that it would be easy to put the crib in our room. At least for another month or so but it's to wide for the door and the way her closet in her room it just wouldn't work. I'm going to go check on her in a few moments to see what she is doing. I don't know if she will go take a nap or not. She was yawning and was sleepy when I fed her but yeah. She at least isn't screaming right now. I can just see myself sleeping on the floor in her room for a bit to. This sucks.

ooh there just was a noise. She probably will start crying any moment now :( It's really hard to predict when she will go down for a nap though. Sometimes I think she will be out for a good stretch and she will wake up within 10 mins. At night she has been sleeping good. The night before last she was out around 9pm and I had a hard time trying to get her to eat something at 11 - sort of a dream feed. She only latched to one side. I was dreading that she would wake up within an hour of me going to bed but she slept until almost 6am! Nice to get that much sleep but realllly bad for me. My whole top half of my right breast was plugged and did it ever hurt! The left was on it's way there but it wasn't as bad. So during the day they both improved but weren't completely gone. Same thing happened last night but I didn't think it would be as bad since she did eat somewhat okay at 11. But I was wrong this morning the right was even worse! OUCH! The left was okay thank god. This last feeding finally relieved the pressure though. Seriously I HATE breastfeeding. It really sucks. It's just one thing after another. I hope I at least make it to 6 months. Only about 3 more to go.

12:33 pm

Nope that didn't last long. She started crying soon after the mobile stopped turning. Oh well it was a trial. She seems happy playing on the floor on her fun mat at the moment. I feel like complete shit. I have the last few days. Just a stupid headache that isn't really one but won't go away. Like I need to sleep or something even though I got enough sleep. Maybe I have been clenching my teeth in the night or something. The headache really makes playing with, holding, or feeding monkey really tough. I wish Chris was here to help me today. Unfortunately today after work he has an appointment with crappy tire to change the oil in the car. :( So who knows what time he will get home at!


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