Thursday, April 15, 2010

The waiting game again!

I am anxious for the end of the month so I can see if we have conceived or not. I really hope we have. I feel like time is running out. Every time I start thinking about it I get anxious and I don't even know what else. I will be disappointed if we aren't though. Unfortunately most nights we are too tired to even try. I am really beginning to hate afternoon shift even more. At least after I have the baby I will be home for awhile which really is where I want to be. There are so many things I want to be doing but I never seem to find the time to and when I have real motivation to I am at work and can't. Also I have no means to write at all while I am work. Well I can while I'm on break but seriously I get lots of ideas while I'm running the machine and really have no time to jot anything down.

I guess I'll just stick to journaling at work when I can. I have no idea where to start or how to start changing stuff so I would be more happier. I feel like something is wrong with me considering I should be happy? Chris is the awesomest. Things are starting to fall into place, like almost having enough saved to start looking for a house, starting to try  for a baby etc. We are better off then we ever were. Then why do I always feel like this then? Most of the time it's when I am at work or by myself at home. Even though I like being at home by myself sometimes, I prefer when Chris is home with me. I really wish we were on the same shift. Then we would see each other more. Who knows though it may eventually happen. At least in a years time hopefully I will be home on maternity leave.


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