Friday, August 20, 2010

I'm such a procrastinator..

Ugh I need to write in here about my pregnancy more and take more belly pictures. I need to stop procrastinating and write about it. I really want to document this fully as the time goes by. Now I am in week 11, about half way through it. I definately can feel something in my belly. I feel so fat and gross it sucks. I made the mistake of getting on the scale a moment ago and absolutely disgusted with myself, not only because of the number that showed but because I can't stop freaking eating! Mostly Crap to. UGH I need to deal with it now! I need to make a plan and stick to it. Basically eating healthier and working out. I did work out on monday for 25 mins and that was the last time that I did. I don't know what to do. I have start to make a salad with lots of good stuff in it (red onions, peppers, grapes and tomatoe ) so that is a start. Oo that reminds me I need to take my vitamin today. I forgot yesterday. Going to go do that now.

I'm supposed to take it with food but I usually forget and seriously it's like right in front of me as well and I still forget! It's so hard to get down it's so huge. It makes me want to puke! The last few days getting up I have felt really sick that I have to lay back down for a few minutes until I feel good enough to get up. Last night to by the time we went to bed I was feeling sick as well. It helped that chris was rubbing my back, stomach and head though. Last night about an hour before work was done I was feeling really nauseous to. Usually around 10 I start to feel it but sometimes I suck on a candy to take my mind off of it and it usually works. I need to go to SDM and see if they have the jolly rancher candies. They are much better then the ones I currently have.

I need to go bra shopping tommarrow as well. My boobs have been killing me! Some days are worse then others but man! If I don't have a bra on or I just take it off holy CRAP! I usually wear my pink yoga bra around the house and to bed. It's not very supportive though but it's better then nothing. My bras really didn't fit to well to begin with but they are worse now. Last night I had to wear two just to make myself feel secure. Ugh sometimes I hate being a girl. I really hope I don't really weight 176!!!! Geez the other day that I checked first thing in the morning I was only 172! That I can take. God I don't know what the doc is going to say next week! I'm sure they will weight me. Cries! Why couldnt I be one of those people that lose wieght when I am prego in the first trimester! (yes I understand that that really isn't the best thing and no I really don't wish that I just feel like shite about myself at the momement) I probably wouldn't eat so much if I was working days or if I was home though. It's hard to explain but standing at a machine starving really sucks since you can't do anything about it until you are on break. So it's like I eat more so I don't get to that point. No matter what I do though it seems like by midnight I am starving! Blah :(

I really hope I'm not 176. I won't feel better until I weigh myself tommarrow. Also I'm sure I still fit into my jeans so yeah :( you know gaining weight wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to go to work. Hopefully all the weight will just be in my belly.


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