It's TIME!!!

(This was written Dec 11th 2012 :)

So I woke up at 4am with what I figured was contractions. I didn't wake Chris up just yet though. I kept timing them. They seemed to be coming every 3 mins pretty regularly. They were not to intense yet I could still talk through them but they weren't the nicest feeling at all. Finally I woke him and said I think I'm in labour. So he timed a few. I wasn't sure if I should call mom yet but since they were pretty steady and if I called her then she might be up in here before we had to leave for the hospital. Chris got me the cell phone and I called her and she said she would be on her way in a few minutes. I got up a few minutes later to go to the washroom and I was bleeding like mega. This freaked me out. I knew that you could get a bloody show along with losing your mucus plug but I wasn't sure how much blood you would lose. I was freaked out by the amount that I was bleeding so we decided to head to the hospital. So I called mom back and told her we were going to go there and we would have to bring monkey with us. Thankfully I had my bags packed already so we gathered all the stuff I needed to bring, then got monkey up. We just put her in her winter jacket in her PJ's and made sure she had a few blankets on her as well. We had the stroller in the trunk already so that wasn't a problem. I felt so bad for having to drag her out of bed. :(

Unfortunately when we got to the hospital it was freaking raining out! We had a few mins of walking to get to the entrance as well which sucked. We draped one of the blankets over the stroller to keep her dry as possible and went in. She was actually pretty good! She had at least 8 hours of sleep by the time we woke up so she wasn't cranky or anything. All my stress for nothing. She was sort of half asleep for awhile so just sat in the stroller and watched us. The nurses hooked me up to the monitors and asked a bunch of questions. Basically eventually they said the baby looked fine and that I could go home and come back when the contractions got were I had a hard time ignoring them. She said it was up to me though and that most people like to go home for a few hours and then come back since that way they can rest and eat something. I was so tempted to stay but I also wanted to be able to eat something so I decided to go home and come back. Thankfully by the time we were ready to leave Tam called on the phone and said they were in the parking lot. I told them I was going home for a bit so we would meet them there.

My contractions were getting worse by the time we got home but they still weren't that bad. They were just uncomfortable. This morning was surreal I have to say, since I spent so much time freaking out about labour, going into labour, when it was going to happen, what we would do with monkey etc and now it was here and I wasn't stressed about any of that. It just seemed natural. I ate a bagel and cream cheese then decided to go lay down on the bed since it was more comfortable then sitting on a chair out with everyone. Eventually though they were getting to bad that I felt like I just wanted to be at the hospital and that way I could relax since I didn't want to be almost giving birth and being stuck in traffic on the way or something.

So we went back and Mom and Tam watched monkey at the house for us. I was hooked up to the monitoring machines again. The doctor on that day wasn't my doctor but she was pretty nice. She was the same one that was there when I went in for my leg being swollen. I was admitted and got to pick my room. They said that the huge room with two wall of windows was open or room 3 which was smaller. I walked into the big one and was like umm nope lol. I felt like everyone and there uncle could see in! The nurse said most people think the same thing and go for the smaller room. The nurse went to get the tub ready while we went to the room and Chris and the doctor in training brought our stuff in. She was super nice as well.

So we got settled in our birthing room while we waited for the tub to be ready. Thankfully they waited until I was out of the tub before putting my IV in. Being in the tub again was nice!! It was super hot though which worried me but it was nice to sit in it for awhile. Like last time though even though I wish I could have stayed in there the whole time I started to get really hot and just wanted to get out.

So when I got back into my room the IV was put in by the doc in training. The nurse put a couple of emla patches on the back of my hands since the doc in training (I cant remember her name) was going to do it. She has done it before but needed more practice. OMG it hurt like hell and I swear she was like pushing the needle in but sideways. I don't even know but my hand really hurt by the time she was done. I made the mistake of looking at one point since afterwards the doc commented that I looked better and that I went pretty white at one point. lol.

After this it was pretty much a waiting game. Pretty much right after I got into the room and had my IV in we talked about an epidural and she said that they would call it down and get the stuff set up for the doc when he came. I am so glad for that since my contractions were getting worse and it was all I could do to get through them. I was pretty close to tears a few times and it was so hard to breath. I had Chris's hands every time it peaked but that really didn't help. I was SO FREAKING RELIEVED WHEN they said he was there. I had asked one of the nurses when we first went in the wee hours of the morning how long you would have to wait. She said usually from the time it was called down it was about 20 mins and it rarely goes for an hour. It never goes longer then an hour. Well I tell you my luck it was an hour wait. Like I said I was never more relieved when they said that he was there. I remember at one point one of the nurses came in and said he should be here soon it usually never takes this long. I remember one said that he was in the ER or something which made me cringe because who knew how long it would be then. The few contractions that I had while he was doing it still sucked ass but at least I knew pain relief was on its way. The contractions just got less and less painful and finally went away. I think it must have been close to 2pm at this time. Chris was thinking of going to get food and I told him that he better go then since the last time I had an epidural it seemed like after I had it the rest of my labour went quickly. So he started to leave but ran into Mom and his mom in the hallway. They came in and talked to me for a few moments then went to go get something to eat. I thought Chris would get food and come back but he ended up eating with them.

 

Of course 10 mins after he left and the nurses left I started feeling pressure. I had no idea what to do since hello I can't get out of bed! I couldn't find the call button at first. I tried the one that was on the bed railing but that didn't work. I was starting to panic and I just happened to look far enough to my left up on my pillow and I saw the red button. Instant relief! I guess I could have started yelling if I got that desperate. So someone came in and said I was okay. She checked to make sure baby wasn't there lol. The pressure just got worse and worse though. I thought it was bad to not push when you felt that though? Guess not because it seemed like a long time before they told me to push.

The nurse that was looking after me eventually came in and said that she wanted to see how I would do pushing so we did a few. Then left to go tell the doctor I guess. Chris was back at some point. Then it was just a matter of waiting for them to come back and get me to push again. She did have to give me a bit of pitocin I think because once I started actively pushing the pressure started to back off. The little bit helped get it going again. So I pushed for I don't know how long, maybe 20 mins? At this time I think both docs were there. I remember the nurse helping the head come out.  I guess all of a sudden the head was out they screamed for me to stop pushing. I looked up and the one doc in training like whipped her sweater off and threw it against the window while the nurse ran to get her a gown. I guess they didn't expect the baby to come out that fast. After that it was really small tiny pushes and the baby slide right out. They clamped the cord and got Chris to cut it. The one doc in training said something about she is a cutie. I looked at Chris and was like is it a girl? He was like yep.

They didn't have to take her away so they put her up on my chest. All I could think about was how tiny her bum was in my hand and how sticky she was. But it was nice to cuddle like that for a bit. They did have to do some repairs though so it was a bit of a wait with stitching again. I don't think the tear was as bad as last time though. They eventually took her to weigh her and she was 7lbs 11 oz. One pound lighter then monkey. I tried nursing for a bit before we were going to go tell mom and Chris's mom. They decided to bring me to our private room before shift change. I guess usually they wait until after because it was so close to shift change but decided to do it before. So I got a wheel chair ride down and seen Chris's mom in the hallway. I think the one doc helped Chris with the bags again and him and my mom and his followed us to the room.

The bed I was put in was so comfortable at first! haha only at first after awhile it felt hard as a rock! But it was nice to be laying down again and not in the ward room. Chris's mom said that when she saw the nurse wheel me past she though she saw blue on the blanket and thought that we had a boy but nope lol. The blanket was standard and had both a blue and pink strip. They were excited to meet their new granddaughter though. It was also really nice to have Chris there with me and to help me. I also found the nurses to be nicer or more helpful or something then when I was in the ward room for some reason. But maybe that was only because the nurses I had themselves were nicer.

Anxiety, it is getting so close!

I had my doctors appointment on thrus (nov 29th). everything seemed good, the scale is still around 220 (yuck!!!) and babies heart rate was at 140 which he said was also good. I guess I was only 1 cm dilated so he did a membrane sweep, which really wasn't not fun at all! Thankfully that is over with. So we scheduled an appointment for next friday. He said if I make it to that one then we would talk about how to proceed. I keep thinking this baby will come on the 8th but who knows. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore since its uncomfortable and tiring walking or standing to much and trying to sleep. But I am still freaking out about actual going into labour and delivering. Plus I probably will be stuck at the hospital for a few days. The only good thing with that is we are getting a private room so that might make it better. Although 200 a day sucks ass.

After the appointment we went to pick up monkeys Christmas photos since they were in. Unfortunately there was only one girl there and she was taking photos so I had to wait for like 10 mins. I normally wouldn't have cared but I am 39 weeks pregnant, I was starting to overheat and I really just wanted to go home! Plus I was super tired since the night before we went to bed late, then I had a pain in my left side that went away but came back 30 mins later and it was horrible! It might have been the way I was sleeping.  But I was uneasy sleep because I was wondering if I was going to go into labour then. No such luck.

Yesterday when I got up for the day I was thinking about monkeys pictures and sure enough they didn't give us our freaking Christmas cards that came with the package we bought. Everything else was there though. I called and they said just to come get them. I was annoyed though since I didn't want to have to go back there especially this close to my due date!

Thankfully Chris went there today. It was nice that I didn't have to leave the house. He said that the line up was insane in there so it took him a bit to get to the cash to ask about the cards. Still hello! thanks for giving them to me when I went there the first time! shesh.

I think I might be losing the mucas plug though, hopefully that means that my cervix is softening! I wish labour was over with. I don't know how I am going to be able to handle a new baby and monkey as well. Chris mentioned the other day that he wished that he had that extra week of holidays now to take after I had the baby. I now agree as well although it was nice to have that week off together in August even though I was to tired to do anything much. My anxiety keeps going up and down :( I just want to meet the new little bean and have this horrible delivery part over with!! lol

10:30 pm:  It still seems like I am losing my mucus plug, some still tinged with blood. I have been having more intense braxton hicks contractions I guess. Not painful but still uncomfortable. I'm so not ready for this. The worst is, is that it's night time! I don't want to have to get mom to drive up here in the middle of the night. I hope if it comes down to that my sister will come with her! :( The anxiety of possibly having to bring monkey to the hospital is starting to suck and I have no idea when to call mom? Like if they keep happening of course but what happens if they aren't as intense or I don't get anymore do I wait or just call her and see what she thinks? I would have for her to have to drive all the way up here for nothing. At least if she comes up she will be here just in case, but then I might be okay tomorrow then she would have to go home and come up again? ahhh this sucks I hate once again being so far away from them!!

Almost time...

So I am started to get serious anxiety about giving birth again. I don't really have a choice seeing as I am due next week but am sooo not ready. I just don't know if I can handle going through the whole not getting any sleep, trying to nurse, not being able to walk around easily the first week and then I have monkey to watch as well. I think mom is planning on helping me at least for a few days so that will be awesome.

I just really want everything to be over with. I hate not knowing when it will start. Today the baby must be right in my pelvis because it has been hurting a lot today (and probably the past few days as well) . My stomach is sooo huge and looks likr a beach ball. I don't remember it looking like that with Monkey. I'm still nervous though! Babies are so much work and I am always tired now and don't get anything done as it is :( GAH! I hope though labour starts during the day and mom can get here to watch Monkey when I need to go to the hospital and that labour starts gradually. UGH when will this be over?

Mom called this morning to give me her cell number and JP's in case she isn't home if I call. She says she looked up when the full moon was and thought she better give me the numbers today since the full moon is tomorrow night. Guess we will see!

I was having a strange dream last night. I don't remember alot but I do remember that I was at the hospital, even though this hospital and town reminded me of no town I have ever seen in my life. Anyways I needed to get to the other part of the hospital that for some reason was not in the same building and I think I was in labour. I have no idea where Chris was and for some reason Tammy's ex (Chris's sister) was going to drive me there but instead he stopped at a grocery store first to get some stuff. He was taking forever that I finally got annoyed and left to find the place myself. It seemed to take forever to find and then get inside. I think I finally did but I felt like I was going around in circles. I don't really remember what happened there but then I was where Chris was and he was mad at me for some reason. I guess because I didn't call him or something even though I had at one point tried my hardest to. He wouldn't talk to me and I was freaking out because I was in labour? Weird dream.

Doc appointment and other rambles..

I had another doctors appointment yesterday (mon) he had my results back from the strep B swab thing I had to do a week before at the last one. It came out neg so that is one less thing to worry about. This appointment went okay. Nothing worrying me and everything seems to be normal. It was a long wait though which sucked. We got there and the whole place was full! So that and monkey not wanting to sit still made it a tad bit stressful for me. I am glad that my weight seems to have stopped rising. It's around 218 I think. Ugh I hate even thinking about that number or looking at it but it is what it is and when this baby is born I can start to lose the weight. (ha it was hard for me to even admit that in my blog!)

I am starting to get more and more anxious since I have no idea what labour coming on naturally feels like. We asked him when is a good time to go to the hospital and he said when contractions get to be about 7 mins apart it is sometimes a good time to go in. The sucky part is that monkey will have to come with us but I think if I start to feel contractions I can call mom and hopefully someone will be able to come up before I have to go to the hospital. For the last few weeks, off and on, I have been having menstrual like cramps. Although it seems like there are more of them this past week and more like braxton hicks contractions. It feels so weird when my stomach gets so hard. I guess I better get as much sleep as I can now because soon I will have none and no time to nap unless Chris is home.

Monkey is as cute as ever. Her sayings now include 'oh no!' 'I see it' (she normally says this and points to the lights), and 'lets go see (grandma, grandpa etc)'. I just love her to death. She is getting so big and she constantly wants me to read to her which is awesome but I have to say I do get tired of reading the same book over and over but I am happy that she takes an interest in reading!

The saturday that just past we took her to the mall to get pictures with Santa! It was his first day being there and that is definitely the time to go since there was hardly a line up. She sat on him without any freak outs although she wouldn't look at the camera to much. But the photo we got of her is cute! We get to get the Christmas photos we had done at Walmart next week sometime.

I think at my next appointment which is next Thurs he is going to check to see if I am dilated at all and he may be doing that sweep thing. Which I am not looking forward to since it was not the funnest the last time. I am so ready to not be pregnant but at the same time I don't want to go through all that again! AHhh at least we have baby names now though. The baby is still so freaking active and today especially. There can't be to much room left in there since it sort of is uncomfortable when the baby stretches or kicks or punches or whatever the baby is doing. I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl though!! So exciting.

anxiety is starting to suck..

I'm starting to get really anxious about labour. It basically could happen anytime. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore but at the same time I am not ready to have to feed a baby a lot, deal with barely being able to move and deal with monkey all at the same time. The thought just exhausts me. I'm not sure how monkey is going to react to the new baby either. I am confident that nursing might be better this time around since I sort of know what I am doing and I have learned from my many mistakes. I am not looking forward to getting no sleep though. At least this time around right from the start we have the swing. I think that will help a lot. I still don't want to go through labour though lol.

Last night we talked about names again and I think we made good progress. Although spelling is something we have yet to completely decide on since the  names we picked can be spelt various ways. It's nice to have that sort of settled.

 

 There are still a few random things I need to pack for the hospital that I really should get my butt on that but at least most of it is done. I still need to boil the two small baby bottles as well in case I can't nurse for whatever reason. I just don't know how I am going to be able to spend that amount of time nursing when monkey will want me to pay attention to her or read to her or something. Hopefully the first few days I am home someone else will be with me (like Chris or my mom) so they can keep her occupied while I nurse the baby.

I have been having weird dreams but I can never really remember them lately since they were complicated it seemed. Last night I had one again but this time I knew it had to do with the baby. All I remember is that I was upset that Chris installed the baby seat in the car wrong since it was so easy to move around and it wasn't even hooked into the shell. There was more to it but I forget now. It was one of those back and forth dreams where you never make any progress. It sort of sucked. I was relieved to wake up. The funny thing is I know that that seat in the car doesn't move at all and it's pretty secure so I don't know where that worry came from.

I really hope labour doesn't start out really horrible but gradual. I have no idea what natural labour feels like since I was induced the last time. Oh geez just thinking about that makes me not want to go through it again lol. But in the end it will be worth it since we will have another little one running around  and being all cute.

back is killing me..

omg I don't know what I did to my back but it is killing me right now! It didn't hurt at the start of the day I don't think but definitely got worse as the day went on. I was soo happy when Chris came home because that meant that I didn't have to pick up monkey anymore. It sucked having to put her in and take her out of her crib when I tried to get her to nap or anytime that I had to change her bum or when I put her in her high chair. I hope it feels better by tomorrow morning or this is going to suck. Ugh this sucks!

Tomorrow is Chris's birthday and I plan on making lasagna for supper. Hopefully I will be able to move :( I have no idea what I am going to do if I cant! ughhh why can't it be the weekend already.

Monkey was so cute today. Around 11 am Max and Ruby was on and Ruby was trying to play twinkle twinkle little star on the piano but her brother kept interrupting her. I wasn't really paying attention to the TV to much but I realized that monkey was singing and it sounded SO MUCH like twinkle twinkle little star. Most of the words were gibberish or at least I couldn't understand them but all the words at the end were almost totally clear! I also love when she plays with her farm set and animals or the sesame street characters with the store front and she is talking like they are talking to each other. It's so cute to watch her. Her voice even goes up and down. I could listen to her do that all day long!

To my relief she also had a poop today. It wasn't that big but it was at least all one lump instead of a bunch of turdlets and it seemed a bit more then yesterday so hopefully we are making some progress. Even though I would say she is still constipated but at least she got some out.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow though since my back is killing me. The baby is so freaking active today. I can tell there isn't to much room in there since sometimes the movement is really uncomfortable. Soon enough I guess.

Yesterday at one point in the day, Monkey was sitting on the floor in the living room and had my bunched up socks where I had left them the night before and was trying to get them on her feet.  She couldn't get them on since they were in balls but she did have them on as far as she could get them on her toes. We were both watching her amazed that she knew what they were for and she was so intent on what she was doing.

Today just about 30-40 mins ago I had given her her sippy cup full of milk after we got home from grocery shopping , she finished it, walked over to the table our computers are on and stood up on her toes and put it on the side of the table! 

 

Her size five sandals now seem to fit her feet perfectly and I think she looks bigger (taller) but when we stood her by her height chart she seemed to be the same height. She is pretty tall though. I mean if she could figure out how to use door knobs she could do so easily since the top of her head is like 2-3 inches below the door knob. That would not be good though! I don't want her to grow up to fast.

She also figured out how to move a big box that we put across the kitchen entryway since we haven't gotten a plastic gate yet. So she escaped down the hall to her room. She also twice today fed Chris a few pieces of her lunch and supper. She is getting bigger and learning by the day! It's funny to hear what she tries to copy what we say :) I love her so much!

As for baby # 2, there have been a lot of kicks lately. Chris can even feel them as well. I think I am 25 weeks now but I need to double check my dates since the last time I was at the doctor he said that they had me down for a few weeks earlier. So I don't know. Hopefully next time we see him he will have the ultrasound results.

I have been super exahausted lately but I think that is probably normal with a second pregnancy since I have to get up with monkey then basically stay up until midnight when I get off work and I seem to be having a hard time falling asleep at night which is annoying. I might get up at 9am and feel fine but an hour later I am sooo sleepy that all I want to do is take a nap but I can't and most of the time when monkey finally goes for her nap I can't fall asleep then. It's a gamble though since sometimes I can and I feel better but sometimes I feel like complete shit so I try to avoid taking naps when I can. It sucks ,I can't wait to be on maternity leave. About 9 weeks left to go! Holy cow even though time seems to be going by slowly at the same time it seems to be flying by! I have already been back to work for almost 7 months! Crazy!

BabyBelly #2: 23 weeks

23 weeks :) Not really liking how I am feeling but excited to find out what we are having. Less then halfway left!

Doc appointment

Today I had my final doc appointment with my family Doc. Well that was only because I couldn't get into the OBGYN until the first week in August. Anyways today when we went there I was sort of grumpy because all prior visits I only saw the nurse who checked my blood pressure, urine and weight. Today though he had a in training nurse practitioner with him and she actually used the doplar to listen to the heart beat! So I FINALLY got to hear it. I was so excited when she told me to get up on the table.  I had my ultrasound yesterday and saw the it was beating but that was about it. So I was super happy to hear it. She said that the beat was about 150. According to the old wives tale does that make it a boy? I'm also carrying this one much higher since my belly is sticking wayyy out! I have already been in mat clothes for awhile now as apposed to with monkey where I was just telling work at this point that I was preggers. Albeit I was 30 pounds lighter when I conceived Monkey then with baby bean #2. Still it was super exciting to hear the little ones heart beat! So that was a relief. She also measured me and said it measured around 19-20 weeks. She didn't seem concerned and said that that was normal for around where I am at. So that is good. I am 21 weeks 3 days. So pretty close.

Also to my delight and surprise when we were heading over there Monkey just started saying MOMMY repetitively in the backseat! Sooo freaking cute! So happy she finally is saying it. She has been saying daddy for a long time now. I love that little girl so much. It's so hard to go to work every night! I miss her so much and worry about sometime happening to her when I am not there. I hate to think what I am going to be like when she is older! I just have to keep thinking 3 months until I am off at least for a year. I don't think I want to go back to work after the year is up, not until they are both in school at least but it depends on the money situation. Maybe if I needed to and did not want to work full time I could always find a part time job or something. That is too far in the future to think about right now I am just trying to get through the last months of work! Its' so freaking hot in there and I am so tired all the time. Heat and tiredness makes for a long night. Today is supposed to be the worst to. Chance of thunderstorms all day and night, temps that feel like over 40 yuck! I can't wait until summer is over and I can hide under my sweater again!

Ultrasound Day!

Chris got up today and went to work for an hour or so before coming home to get me and Monkey. I was worried that he wasn't going to be able to come in at all because we had Monkey with us and in the stroller. My appointment was for 9am. I had a male technician this time which sucked because he seemed really young, indifferent and seemed to rush through it. He did show me the babies head and that the heart beat was beating. I definitely didn't feel comfortable saying anything or asking anything. He then set to work doing the stuff he needed to do. It was amazing to see of course even though most of the time it was to hard for me to tell what I was looking at. At one point he was like if you have to go to the washroom let me know. I was like I definitely am getting to that point. He was like okay it will only be a few more minutes of you can wait. Yeah more like 10! My side was starting to stitch up because I had to go so bad. Then he was like you might as well wait and I will go get your husband. SERIOUSLY!?!?!?! I guess he wouldn't understand since he will never be prego, have drank a bunch of water and have someone press on your stomach for a long ass time! GRR. So he got Chris who barely even got to look at the screen before it was over. He did see the baby but then monkey started crying and he bent down to sooth her and when he looked up the technician had switched the screen off. So I was disappointed for him. I know they don't have all day long but still. Chris said he saw the baby though and seemed happy.

I do have a rant though since we did not want to find out the sex of the baby. At one point he told me to look away from the screen since he was going to check the sex and sometimes it's really obvious what it is. So I looked away sort of seething. I'm sorry what part of I don't want to know don't you understand? Why do they have the right to check and record it even though we don't want to know? It's my baby and my body. I'm the parent and I should have a say in what you check? Maybe it's just common practice or it's necessary to make sure everything is okay but I still feel like my rights have been violated somehow. Maybe it's just me but it pissed me off to no end. I guess when I see my OBGYN I can ask him why they check even if you don't want to know. Like what happens if we go to our appointment and he is like 'congrats I see your having a boy/girl". I hope that doesn't happen because then I really will be mad. The technician only saw one baby in there but in the back of my mind for some reason I keep thinking two. He really didn't check around either so who knows. I'm sure it's just all in my head but I feel and look sooo huge already! Plus with the internet I have read lots of stories of people who had a twin missed until they measured large all of a sudden closer to their 30th week.

I was super tired today and unfortunately I still had to go to work which I was not looking forward to. It's only Monday to and the weekend is a long time from now!

BabyBelly #2: 20 weeks

Half way there! 20 Weeks yesterday! I hope the last 20 weeks goes by just as fast!

How Far Along? 20 weeks

Weight Gain/Loss: I just weighed myself because I forgot to this morning and I was kind of cringing because I was afraid of what the number was going to be. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as I thought. Actually it was a pound or two since I weighed myself last week. It seems like right now my weight is fluctuating up and down a few pounds. I really don't know why since I can't seem to stop eating :(. So so far the total weight I've gained is 13 pounds. Not to bad for 20 weeks I think. I just really don't want to go over the highest I was at with Monkey!

Feeling? So exhausted. I just want to sleep most of the time but unfortunately with a little one and working afternoons I don't get much sleep at all. I am really looking forward to mat leave in a few months. I just hope I can last that long! I did just come off of a week's holidays so that has sort of refreshed me but still dreading the long shifts in this terrible heat again.

Maternity Clothes: I think I need at least a pair of baggy mat pants to feel comfortable at work. The last thing I like is to be sweaty and hot and have clothes that are clinging to me. I have enough tops I think but I still don't want to buy any more mat clothes! I did get a belly band to see if it would help with a few of my low rise jeans that still fit but are a little tight under the belly when I sit down. Wearing a belt is out of the question since it digs into my bottom belly when I sit. We will see how that goes.

Sleep: I'm having a hard time sleeping lately. It might be partly the heat but also due to pregnancy. I am already at the point where trying to roll over is uncomfortable and my lower back is already starting to hurt whenever I sit or stand for to long. I really don't remember it being this bad so soon!

Food Cravings: I don't really think I have had to many food cravings unless you count red licorice but that might be because it's just chewy and good.

Movement? I'm pretty sure I have been feeling movement the odd time. A few times this past week, laying in bed in the morning I have had my hand pressed onto my left side of my belly and I felt a little kick or punch against my hand! Still not very strong but still there! I can't wait till chris can feel it as well!

What I miss? Being able to fit into my clothes and not feeling like a whale especially in this hot sticky weather! I look forward to the end of summer!

Best moments this week:  Feeling the new little bean(s) kicks and punches.

What am I looking forward to? Next monday I have my ultrasound. It will be the first time we see/hear the baby's heartbeat and find out if its only one. I don't really think I am having twins anymore but I still want to know for sure :) I just need to get through this week!

Next appointment: My next doctor appointment is next week as well. Then I have my first appointment with my OBGYN early Aug!

Milestones: Halfway there!

Gender: We are keeping it a surprise! It will be a nice early Christmas present!

BabyBelly #2: 18 weeks

Almost half way there!

How Far Along? 18 weeks

Weight Gain/Loss: From the last time I weighed myself I think I have only gained 2 pounds. So I am at a total of 12 pounds so far, which I guess isn't that bad but I still have over 4 months to go and I am very afraid of what I will be at the end. I am trying not to focus on that number though since I am pregnant. A coworker told me last week that in her opinion I have only gained in my stomach so that made me feel better. She also asked if I was having twins. That sort of surprised me since I have been thinking twins as well!

Feeling? Exhausted, sticky, sweaty, fat. I hate being prego during the summer months. There have been a few days that just have been brutal at work and its still early yet! I'm looking forward to summer holidays! If I can just get past the summer all will be well!

Maternity Clothes: I got a few more tops for maternity wear but what I really need I think is some lose fitting pants. I really don't want to spend anymore money on maternity wear though! If it was cooler I could just wear my yoga pants all the time but since its so hot out and they are sort of fuzzy material I would roast to death in those things. I can't wait to get back to my own clothes! I think I might buy a belly band though.

Sleep: Sleep hasnt been to bad but the other night I had a night were I couldn't get to sleep for the life of me and kept waking up throughout the night. I'm not sure why, it wasn't because I had to use the washroom or anything. The next day I felt like a walking zombie!

Food Cravings: No food cravings yet!

Movement? I think I have been feeling movement! Mostly on either the left or right hand side near the bottom of my belly. Sometimes up near my belly button. Although I'm not sure how much that is the baby (or babies!) or just gas. I look forward to feeling the little bean kick and punch.

What I miss? My skinny self :(. Being already overweight in the summer prego really sucks!

Best moments this week:  Monkey expanding her vocabulary. I definitely have to watch what I say in case she starts to parrot me!

What am I looking forward to? Long term I am looking forward to being on mat leave again. Short term, getting through this week since I have a week off!

Next appointment: Unfortunately for me I can't get into my OBGYN until early August so I have another appointment with my doctor mid July. I also have my ultrasound in the middle of July! I am looking forward to that so we can see how the little tyke is doing, how many there are and hear the heart beat! My doctor does none of that stuff so it really sucks.

Milestones: Almost half way there!

Gender: It will be a December surprise! (I'm hoping for a boy though. I think I am convinced that it is a boy and that it's twins. I don't know why. I think because I feel like I am showing so huge way early! All the random comments I have been getting from people as well that are surprised at how big I got is just convincing me more. I guess we will see in July! )

BabyBelly #2: 15.4 weeks

My belly part way through week 15. Almost half way there! It looks smaller here then it did last week for some reason but it might be becasuse I am wearing black?

I saw these questions on other blogs with the prego belly shots and I thought it was an awesome idea! Wish I would have thought to do that before. :)

How Far Along? 15 weeks and 4 days.

Weight Gain/Loss: I think so far I have gained about 10 pounds which really scares me! I don't want to gain as much as I did with monkey (50 pounds) and I still had 30 to lose when I got prego with #2. So I am battling image issues since being pregnant doesn't help with the feeling like a fat whale all the time. Summer also doesn't help because I can't hide in my sweater :(

Feeling?  I have good days and bad days. Some I feel totally exhausted but I don't get to bed until 12:30am at the earliest and having to get up with monkey in the morning doesn't help. I am a person that needs a lot of sleep. I have been napping on the couch when she naps so that helps a bit. My back is already starting to hurt all the time though and I am not even halfway there yet!

Maternity Clothes: I bought maternity clothes a few weeks back and have been wearing them all the time now. My jeans still fit but some were getting snug and my belt would dig into the bottom of my belly and since I started showing way earlier then I did with Monkey and it being hot and summery out I decided to make the switch sooner then I wanted to. It was worth it though since its more comfortable on the baby belly.

Sleep: I sleep when I can but work late and get up early. It is tough but I am looking forward to maternity leave and hopefully I will be able to go on it as soon as I can. Less then 4 months away!

Food Cravings: No food cravings yet!

Movement? I have felt no movement yet. Can't wait for that feeling again though!

What I miss? Being able to fit into my clothes! and being able to work my butt off when I felt like working out!

Best moments this week: Watching monkey jibber jabber and walk around all day long. Also the moments when she lets me cuddle her on my lap! She never wanted to be held for very long but there have been a few moments when she will sit on my lap for a few minutes.

What am I looking forward to? Being off of work, being able to stay home with Monkey and Chris at night and holding my new baby in my arms! I wish I could skip the whole labour and delivery part! Well and the growing a baby phase to!

Next appointement: Not to sure yet since my doctor just sent the papers to the baby delivery doctor. So we will see when they call me and book my next one. Probably not for another month anyways.

Milestones: being 15 weeks I finally made it out of the first trimester. So my risk of miscarrage has gone down a lot!

Gender: we are going to keep this one a surprise!

Doctor's appointment (baby#2)

I had my last doctors appointment with my family doctor today. I saw the nurse first who checked my blood pressure and urine. Everything was fine. She also went through my blood work and said everything looked good but they found that I would need a booster shot after the baby is born because I am not protected against Rubella or one of those. I can't remember exactly which one it was.  I found that shocking since why wouldn't they have found that in my blood the last time I was pregnant? I guess different testing place since the last time I still had my family doctor back home until we found this one here. Good they found it I guess. Other then that everything was good. I then went to another room and talked to my doctor. He just basically asked if I had any concerns and told me that just do what you feel you can and don't do anything you feel you shouldn't. I had asked him about overheating and lifting since I do some lifting at work (although I avoid it when I can) and now that its getting to be summer temperatures it's getting insanely hot in there!. He reassured me that I would be fine.

We also asked him about Monkey since I noticed that her smaller toes are starting to curl a bit, but she seems to walk okay. She isn't walking on her tip toes or anything. I was just worried it was because she walks around without shoes on most of the time. Can you believe that the weekend before we did try to find her some runners at Walmart but they had none in her size! The rest were all sandals or dress shoes. I was looking for sturdy soles without open toes because she does seem to trip on her sandals sometimes. He wasn't concerned about them and said that don't let anyone talk you into getting expensive shoes for your child because they say you need them. We also asked him about her head and ear scratching. I was afraid that she had an ear infection but recently she started scratching her head more as well. She always seemed to be picking at her ears but it's more scratching the backs of them. He said she has a bit of eczema and to try using aveeno baby soap and to dab a bit of 1% cortisone creme on any bad spots (I think it was that) and to put petroleum jelly on the backs of her ears after a bath to help lock in moisture so her skin doesn't dry out. I have noticed that she still seems to have scales on her head. So I have to research how to help that I guess. At least her hair covers them up since they look horrid and are like a yellowy colour.

I am disappointed again that he didn't use the doppler to listen for the heart beat. I am getting anxious to hear the baby's heart to know that the little tyke or tykes are okay or alive even. He is sending my files over to the ob-gyn that I had before so hopefully they call soon so I know when I go in again. I'm assuming it won't be for another month. I do have my ultra sound next month so I can't wait for that. LOL for some reason I have myself convinced I am having twins even though I really don't see why I think that. Maybe cause I was showing earlier then my last although I have read that you do show faster the second time then your first. Either way I just want reassurance that the baby is okay! I can't wait to feel movements but have felt nothing yet.

My doctor said he should rethink when he refers patients to the ob-gyn since they get to do all the fun stuff (listen to the heart, measure the uterus). lol I am so glad we found this doctor because both me and Chris really like him. 

BabyBelly #2 - week 14!

My big belly! Just starting week 14! So glad that I made it out of the first trimester with no problems. I can't believe the size of my belly this time around. I was looking at belly shots with monkey at 15 weeks and I was barely showing then! Gah :) I'm wearing one of the shirts I got from my maternity shopping spree. Love it and the colour! Actually I guess the black capri pants I'm wearing is also from that day to. :)

I mean looking back my belly is as big as it was when I was at week 24 the last time! Yikes :)

Maternity clothes shopping

We went to a near by town today to go to maternity store to get some clothes for me to wear since I have been uncomfortable in most of the clothes I normally wear to work for awhile now. Its so hard working opposite shifts with Chris since the weekend is the only time we can get things done, but at the same time its the only time I have to totally be able to relax since I know that I don't have to go to work and Chris is around the help with Monkey.
We have been trying to go the past few weekends but didn't because there was something else we needed to do or we ran out of time. I tried looking at stuff in Value Village but the stuff they have in there is so outdate and HUGE that I was pretty disappointed. There is another store that is supposed to have used mat clothes as well but I couldn't find it! Walmart's section consists of tops that are just XXL. seriously? with some mat jeans that are just horrendous looking!

So off we went. Probably not the best weekend to go since it was the long weekend and the roads were busy but I wasn't going to wait another week to get something to wear! We were in the store for a long time and I tried on soooo many things. I found a lot of stuff that I liked, my only complaint is that they have short freaking sleeves!! So when I am at work I have to be careful not to jiggle my arms around or else UGH~ shudder :( I can't believe how much my belly is showing! I never showed this much this early with Monkey but I have read that you show faster with your second.

Another thing is that I actually found a bra that fits pretty good! So I bought two. The girls working there were super nice and helpful and the one told me that she sold a few bras to a customer earlier and she liked it so much better then the one she was wearing that she wore it out of the store. I did the same thing! Once I put it on there was no way I was taking it off! I have been wearing two bras lately just to keep the girls under control. None of mine were fitting properly anymore. So after finding this one it was soooo much better and more comfortable. HA I told Chris that I might just buy my bras from there from now on since any that I get at stores like la Senza just never fit right and the ones that you find at Sears are so freaking ugly they make me feel 90 years old!

So after forever I finally had gone through everything that I had wanted to try on (at least with the first pass around the store) Chris asked if I wanted to look around the store again. I have to say that I was tempted because I knew there were other tops that I liked that I didnt try on but I also knew even if they were having an amazing sale (buy one get the second 40% off) the bill was going to be expensive. I was right! wooo I was so shocked at the price but in reality it was worth it and I knew that the two boutique stores here that sold mat clothes had crazy prices. Like 60 bucks for one top crazy. There were clothes in here that were the same but they had a good selection and a lot of stuff was on sale. Chris told me that we would have to have a third baby just to get our moneys worth out of these clothes. LOL. I told him we will see. It definately made me wish that I had gotten clothes when I was prego with monkey, but it was winter when I was huge and I could get away with wearing a baggy oversized shirt and sweater. I can't do that this year since it's summer and it gets so hot in the plant. Can't hide behind my sweater thats for sure!

So nice to have some clothing options now and tshirts that actually fit my prego body. Still cringing at the price of it but what can ya do.

tired again..it's a pattern I think...

I'm not really looking forward to going into work tonight. I mean I keep going back and forth between if I should or not.  I definately feel better then most days so I probably will make myself. I probably will also kick my ass and regret it half way through. The shifts are so long and boring it sucks. All I want to do is stay home, relax, clean and work on my story! My birthday is next week as well which sucks :( I don't want to get a year older.

Is it the weekend yet? I'm so exhausted with all that needs to be done that nothing is getting done and that also sucks! I just want to feel okay otherwise it's going to be a really long f'n 6 months! On another note I weighed myself before taking a shower today and I was happy to see that I really haven't gained to much weight in the almost 3 months of the first trimester so that makes me really happy. I still wish I was back to my normal weight before I got prego again but at least this time I have a plan to lose the weight after this one is born and actually have the motivation to do it. I seriously really hate my under arm flab :( and why are all girl tshirts so freakin short in the sleeve department! I mean I hate the tops of my arms and unless I want to feel like big block of person wearing guys tshirts, the sleeves just show to much top arm :( you can never win!!
I know I need to stop whining.

So exhausted...

Omg I am so freaking exhausted today. I had a feeling that by the end of the week I would be like this. I really wish I didn't have to work so I could take a long nap when Chris gets home from work. I have a headache and that will only get worse when I get to work and have to wear my safety glasses and being under the flourescent lights. Ugh 8 more hours till the weekend. :( At least tommarrow I can sleep in a bit!

I am also still freaking out about weight gain. I want to keep it to a min since I dont want to go over what I was at the worst at the end of the last pregnancy but I am like famished all the time!! This weekend we need to get a lot of good stuff, fruits etc. and salad stuff so I can make huge salads for either lunch or supper. It's so crappy, I hate it! I don't want to feel like a whale and I am pretty close to feeling that way already. My stomach is still big from monkey and I'm only 9 weeks. I shouldn't be showing yet should I? I am so embarrassed to leave the house let along have to go to work. This time around work has been super exhausting since I can't sleep in till whenever like I was able to with Monkey. Being prego with a little one and working afternoons really sucks!! 6 months plus a week to go :(

I hate days like this!

I feel like I am going to have a break down today. I was unhappy with my weight to begin with and really it wouldn't be so horrible if my belly was flatter but I still looked prego to myself before I got pregnant again. I still had the stupid tummy. It still sticks out sooo much and I hate how I look in profile view because of it. I am only 8 weeks I definitely should not be showing yet! On top of that I have gained weight (I know I'm going to gain but being at the weight I am now is depressing). I still had about 25-30 pounds to lose from Monkey! I want to try and minimize how much I gain but I still have a lot of months to get through before I reach that highest number. I don't want to be there already in 2 more months. I feel like I don't have enough time in the day to workout, clean house, watch monkey and have some me time as well. I am going to lose it soon. I just want to cry. I can't stop eating either. It was the same before when I was trying to lose weight and working afternoons. I eat a bunch during the day because I don't want to be starving by my first break and then I eat more because I am starving anyways and I am famished by the time I get home afterwards. I don't think eating before bed is a good idea. I have no idea what to do! I know I can't lose weight now but I need to try and stop gaining so quickly. I can't wait till this baby is born and I can go to weight watchers to lose the weight! I should have done that after Monkey and then I wouldn't be in this depressive state right now. I feel like a fatass and I hate it. The sweater I wear to work doesn't make my belly look any better either.  I feel hopeless and I don't know what to do. I think I ate to much today as well :( this is so depressing!! I'm sure this is normal with expecting mothers but I wasn't like this before monkey but probably because I was at a healthy weight range for my height. blah :(

Surprise!!!

So last night on my first break at work I was thinking about I should be getting my period soon. According to the app on my iPod my last few cycles were around 28-29 days long. It suggested that I should of had started on Monday but when I looked at the numbers previously I thought it was wrong and that I would have started today since it is the 29th. Anyways, last night I got looking at the calendar in the app again and realized that actually my period started four days before the start of March and that yesterday was like the 33 day or something. I was sitting there like OMG!!! trying to not get my hopes up! I had my hopes up the last few months only to find out I wasn't pregnant. I know on Monday I felt like my period would start but never did. I tried emailing Chris on my ipod but of course the app that I use wouldn't send and I ran out of time to go into actual Hotmail to send it. So I mentioned to him on the phone at lunch time that I should test this morning. He was like really!? lol  I knew I couldn't wait until Saturday morning to test.

So that is what I did this morning. The test came out pretty much with two lines a few seconds after I set it down. So there we go I am prego again! It's sort of surreal!! I'm not sure want to go through the whole process again but I know that the rewards will be worth it just look at Monkey! I am hoping for a boy this time though but like last time it really doesn't matter as long as he/she is healthy!