7:11 pm @work

Sitting here working on a part, or really anything at the table for that matter, always gives me a lot of time to think. I seriously can't wait till I can go on mat leave again. I really don't want to be here and every time I think about that I realize how soon it really is. I think it was last week some time that it hit me that I would have to go through labour again and it sort of scared me.

 

So now I am anxious about it again. I just hope everything goes okay. I guess I am mostly nervous that I might need a c-section. I hope not. I think for some reason I also convinced myself that I am having twins. Everyone keeps telling me they think that and my belly is HUGE compared to last time. This is my second baby though so I started to show sooner and still had 25 pounds to lose when I got pregnant again. I guess soon we will find out. Chris told me not to get excited about twins because he doesn't want me to be dissappointed when there is only one. That of course makes tons of sense.

 

 Two and a half months left before I am on mat leave. I just want to be home to spend time with Chris and monkey and also clean/organize/work on my story and a few other projects I would love to get done. But I am stuck here :(

BabyBelly #2: 23 weeks

23 weeks :) Not really liking how I am feeling but excited to find out what we are having. Less then halfway left!

10:52 pm

 

(written at work)

I really didn't want to come to work tonight again but that really isn't abnormal. It's so hard to leave home to come here. I keep trying to tell myself it's only 3 months or less, but it just seems so freaking far away still. I then try to think of how many months that have past since I came back to work (almost 6) and that July is almost over. If I think of it that way time has really gone by fast! 

I'm just so tired all the time and the heat doesn't help at all. I will be glad when it gets cooler out again. My back is already killing me at work but thankfully there is an old office chair that I switch to when that happens and it helps since I can lean back. Just all the lifting has me worried. I avoid it when I can but I can't always. I guess it is just something I have to ask the doc when I see him in a few weeks. There is just so much at home that I want to get done. I always seem to get the motivation to do it around the time I have to go to work since during the day I am so tired and sleepy. 

Chris told me one night he fell asleep on the floor, which is bad and I hate when he does that,  but woke up a few minutes later and monkey was in her laundry/toy basket. That is so hilarious. He said he took her out and she just went back in there twice more. The same way she does getting on the couch or sitting in her chair. He said he got a few good pictures of her which I can't wait to see. 

That is just another reason I wish I was at home at night so he can take a nap (or me) if he needs to. Three more months with a few three day weekends sprinkled in there and a week off in August. I can't wait! It is almost home time here as well thank god!

Doc appointment

Today I had my final doc appointment with my family Doc. Well that was only because I couldn't get into the OBGYN until the first week in August. Anyways today when we went there I was sort of grumpy because all prior visits I only saw the nurse who checked my blood pressure, urine and weight. Today though he had a in training nurse practitioner with him and she actually used the doplar to listen to the heart beat! So I FINALLY got to hear it. I was so excited when she told me to get up on the table.  I had my ultrasound yesterday and saw the it was beating but that was about it. So I was super happy to hear it. She said that the beat was about 150. According to the old wives tale does that make it a boy? I'm also carrying this one much higher since my belly is sticking wayyy out! I have already been in mat clothes for awhile now as apposed to with monkey where I was just telling work at this point that I was preggers. Albeit I was 30 pounds lighter when I conceived Monkey then with baby bean #2. Still it was super exciting to hear the little ones heart beat! So that was a relief. She also measured me and said it measured around 19-20 weeks. She didn't seem concerned and said that that was normal for around where I am at. So that is good. I am 21 weeks 3 days. So pretty close.

Also to my delight and surprise when we were heading over there Monkey just started saying MOMMY repetitively in the backseat! Sooo freaking cute! So happy she finally is saying it. She has been saying daddy for a long time now. I love that little girl so much. It's so hard to go to work every night! I miss her so much and worry about sometime happening to her when I am not there. I hate to think what I am going to be like when she is older! I just have to keep thinking 3 months until I am off at least for a year. I don't think I want to go back to work after the year is up, not until they are both in school at least but it depends on the money situation. Maybe if I needed to and did not want to work full time I could always find a part time job or something. That is too far in the future to think about right now I am just trying to get through the last months of work! Its' so freaking hot in there and I am so tired all the time. Heat and tiredness makes for a long night. Today is supposed to be the worst to. Chance of thunderstorms all day and night, temps that feel like over 40 yuck! I can't wait until summer is over and I can hide under my sweater again!

Ultrasound Day!

Chris got up today and went to work for an hour or so before coming home to get me and Monkey. I was worried that he wasn't going to be able to come in at all because we had Monkey with us and in the stroller. My appointment was for 9am. I had a male technician this time which sucked because he seemed really young, indifferent and seemed to rush through it. He did show me the babies head and that the heart beat was beating. I definitely didn't feel comfortable saying anything or asking anything. He then set to work doing the stuff he needed to do. It was amazing to see of course even though most of the time it was to hard for me to tell what I was looking at. At one point he was like if you have to go to the washroom let me know. I was like I definitely am getting to that point. He was like okay it will only be a few more minutes of you can wait. Yeah more like 10! My side was starting to stitch up because I had to go so bad. Then he was like you might as well wait and I will go get your husband. SERIOUSLY!?!?!?! I guess he wouldn't understand since he will never be prego, have drank a bunch of water and have someone press on your stomach for a long ass time! GRR. So he got Chris who barely even got to look at the screen before it was over. He did see the baby but then monkey started crying and he bent down to sooth her and when he looked up the technician had switched the screen off. So I was disappointed for him. I know they don't have all day long but still. Chris said he saw the baby though and seemed happy.

I do have a rant though since we did not want to find out the sex of the baby. At one point he told me to look away from the screen since he was going to check the sex and sometimes it's really obvious what it is. So I looked away sort of seething. I'm sorry what part of I don't want to know don't you understand? Why do they have the right to check and record it even though we don't want to know? It's my baby and my body. I'm the parent and I should have a say in what you check? Maybe it's just common practice or it's necessary to make sure everything is okay but I still feel like my rights have been violated somehow. Maybe it's just me but it pissed me off to no end. I guess when I see my OBGYN I can ask him why they check even if you don't want to know. Like what happens if we go to our appointment and he is like 'congrats I see your having a boy/girl". I hope that doesn't happen because then I really will be mad. The technician only saw one baby in there but in the back of my mind for some reason I keep thinking two. He really didn't check around either so who knows. I'm sure it's just all in my head but I feel and look sooo huge already! Plus with the internet I have read lots of stories of people who had a twin missed until they measured large all of a sudden closer to their 30th week.

I was super tired today and unfortunately I still had to go to work which I was not looking forward to. It's only Monday to and the weekend is a long time from now!

Another busy day

We headed out to Costco before monkeys nap again to get some groceries today. We really need to cut back on how much we spend on groceries each week. Just not sure how to do that. I guess set a budget and figure out what we need and stick to it. I love their fruit there though and we got more chicken like we got the time before which was really good and lasted a few meals. We really didn't buy to much junk and it still was crazy expensive. Albeit more money but cheaper with the quantity we got of the things we did purchase. I don't believe everything there is a better price however so I always have to watch. 

The rest of the day was pretty relaxing. The TV stand looks really good. It wasn't to bad to put together and all that worry about finding one with a door that was clear and monkey never bothered with it and Chris accidentally left it open all day long (it's a slide door). Oh well it looks good and neater then before and there is room for all the Wii stuff and our DVD/TV shows.

The couch and chair area looks so much better with that end table by the chair. It actually looks comfy to sit and read their now. Since the lamp is sitting on the end table again, although it probably needs a light bulb in it. The front room looks way bigger to. It sucks that the weekend went by as fast as it did. I hate being super exhausted all the time as well. Usually all the things we have to do just thinking about them exhausts me and then the weekend goes by really fast.  But I have the ultra sound to look forward to since its been 21 weeks and I haven't heard the heart beat at all yet!

A busy Saturday!

We tried to get our running around done before Monkey went for her nap today which meant unfortunately for me I had to get up earlier then I would have on weekend. It's the only time I can catch up on my sleep and Chris has been nice enough to get up with her every weekend so I can do so. Usually we would wait to go out until after her nap which is usually right after lunch. Sometimes she is stubborn and it takes her more then an hour to pass out even when she is clearly really tired and then will sleep for 1 -2 hours. So by the time we get ready and get her ready it's probably already between 3 or 4pm. It's not relaxing since we sort of have to rush if we have more then one place to go and since most places on the weekend close at 6pm it's even more of a mad dash to make sure we get everywhere we need to. I hate having to go back out on Sunday. It just makes the weekend go by way to fast.

So we left around 10am and went to Bonnie Togs because I really wanted to get her this cute bathing suit that I saw the last time we were there. It's a two piece. I didn't get it the last time because we already have one for her but after Canada Day and being on the beach I realized it's actually really hard to change her swim diaper in a one piece. Since we are going to my sister's house soon for moms bday celebration I thought a two piece would be easier (they have a pool). This time though it was on sale so that was nice. I wished the towel dress for after swimming was still there but they were all sold out of her size. A towel will work just as well I guess.

After that we headed to CanadianTtire to get a few things that were on sale.We actually found a TV stand that we had looked at before (Chris really didn't like it before) but looking at it again it wasn't so bad. It was on sale also which was the main reason we went to look at it again. We also got some glass "sandwich" container bowls that are microwaveable and dishwasher safe since we really don't like using our plastic containers for reheating food and they are starting to look gunky anyways. We also got a can opener since the two we have suck, this was also on sale.  We also got a life jacket for monkey as well. We looked at a lot of water things and finally decided on a life jacket since it's purpose is to save lives in water. Like if she fell into the pool it would turn her so her head wasn't underwater. That makes me a happy mommy since I worry about that since she loves water. We were looking at the baby gates but monkey was getting cranky and inpatient being stuck sitting in the cart. It stresses me out when she gets like that so we headed to the check out. We did spend like $200 bucks but saved like $200-$300 since everything was on sale. After that we headed home where monkey had lunch and then went down for a nap.

I purchased Elder Scrolls Skyrim finally since it was on sale on steam for 50% off. I like those types of games and since I have been really bored of Warcraft lately. I haven't logged into the game to play in a long time. At least Skyrim is a one time fee and I can play it for years to come if I wanted to and it won't cost me. Wow is subscription based so around $15 bucks a month really sucks, especially since Chris also plays that game. I think we might be cancelling our subscription anyways since we both don't play anymore. Unfortunately I still have it till October since I did the year commitment to get a few in game items and Diablo 3 for free. I see Skyrim is launching an online game next year that looks really good. So maybe that will be my new MMO. Diablo is okay but I hate how it's so linear where you can only go down a certain path where in Skyrim (and in Warcraft) you can go anywhere on the map and also I hate how the game only saves at check points or if you transition from one area to another if not you lose your exploration progress and anything you killed/cleared will be back again next time you log in. You don't lose your xp or inventory but with monkey I can't just play until I get a check point before I go get her from her nap say, so I really don't play it that often. I can however play with Chris though if I wanted to. He has already beaten the game on like three different difficulty settings.

We also ordered Chinese food for supper since it was our 3rd year wedding anni on the 11th. I was at work that night so we couldn't celebrate then. I was so hungry by the time it got here but it was soooo good and monkey seemed to like it to. There was also lots of leftovers which is the best! All in all a really busy Saturday!