Our appointment with Heidi was okay. She told us to come back in a few weeks when she is about 6 weeks old and we will see how we are doing. She said that if she isn't sleeping at least 5-6 hours at a stretch at night that we can think about supplementing our night feeding with formula so that I can get 6 hours of sleep at least. She said because really you need your sleep. Heidi is awesome and I know if it wasn't for her support there is no way that I would have stuck with breast feeding this long. I would have gotten to frustrated and given up already. I guess here we are the top city for breastfeeding in our province which is crazy but it's nice to know that there is this breastfeeding support here!

Anyways she was happy to see that my crack in my left nipple was healing (that was the reason why I was having really stabbing pain instantly when she latched on before). The stuff she gave us to put on the last time to heal the crack really helped! It's a real big relief because that pain was horrible and I always wanted to avoid that breast. I didn't of course but it was very tempting to.

She also weighed her because she was a bit alarmed at the weight that she was last Friday. She said that number really didn't seem right considering the last time we saw Heidi which I think was the week before the doc appointment she was 9lbs 10oz. She weighed her and she was 10lbs 6oz which made Heidi happy, which of course made me feel better as well. So we did the whole feeding thing and after like 10 mins on the right she weighed her again and said monkey got 2oz in that short amount of time which surprised me. Feeding off the left was sort of crappy today, she wasn't getting to much for some reason. She suggested that I just keep switching her back and forth every time she loses interest on one side until she just will not go back on. This is to make her eat enough because she really can be lazy sometimes and stop after her hunger is appeased. This might help her go for longer then 2 hours between feedings and also help her sleep for a longer stretch at night. She told me to do that in the day while I can function because I can cope with the challenges of breastfeeding even with some of the frustrations during the day. It's between the hours of 10pm - 6am that I cannot cope with anything especially when I am dead tired.

It was a good visit and once again made me feel like I can actually continue to do this.

Visitors...and dirty diaper rant

Cindy and Tam came up to visit me and monkey. I think they got her around 3pm. Cin had told me that she thought they would get there around that time so I made sure I had fed her before they got here. Nothing like saying hi to visitors and then saying gotta go feed the baby. I would have if I had to and I know they would have understood. She was in her swing that we had got on the weekend (best invention ever!). It's nice to have a place to put her that lulls her to sleep or keeps her entertained and she can see things instead of trying to put her in the play pen all the time especially since she can't see hardly anything at all.

She was actually awake when they got there which I know would make Tam happy since every time she visits she is sleeping and no matter how many tickles Tam gives her she never wakes up. lol. So after some pictures Cindy picked her up to hold her and then eventually passed her to Tam to hold. Some where between when Cindy had her and Tammy got her she fell asleep again! lol.

It was nice to hear that they thought she was doing okay because I was still worried about dehydration and still thought it was odd about her lack of a dirty diaper the night before. It really helped me hearing Cindy's adventures in breastfeeding. So Cindy if your reading this you don't know how much you made me feel better hearing about your experience and really having both you and Tammy reassuring me that she looked healthy and not dehydrated. Since she was at this time having lots of wet diapers. The thing that was freaking me out the most about that is everywhere you read they talk about she should have 6 really wet diapers or more in a day. Well really wet diapers to them is 1/4 of a cup so when she had pee's lighter then that it freaks me out because its not a really "wet diaper", at least to any info you read, so annoying. I know what that feels like now because I dumped that amount in a disposable to see how it felt. She pee's a lot though and it's not orange crystals, her skin bounces back when you do a light pinch, her soft spot on the top of her head is not sinking in, her eyes are bright and she has lots of spit in her mouth. Still I am paranoid. I think Cindy said well maybe small pee's are just normal for her. Which really is true. She pees more then 6 times and her pees do vary from really light to really heavy (unless of course that is just more then one in a diaper) I guess the most important thing is that she is still peeing though. Pooping really isn't a problem she does that all the time anyways. Although that is another thing to worry about is her poop colours. The doctor the last time we saw him said breastfed baby poops can vary in colour from yellow to a yellowy brown to a green or neon green colour. Seriously I feel like I am spending a lot of time analyzing her dirty diapers to see if she is doing okay!

Using the cloth diapers is also hard to determine just how big a pee was. I guess I will just go on that if it's wet its a good sign. Although I still haven't figured out how to tell exactly if she had a pee with a poop in her cloth diapers. It seems kind of funny ranting on about dirty diapers! Who would have though becoming a mother would entail spending so much time looking at her diapers. Geez.

I feel like there is always something new to worry about each week. She is still gaining weight, she never lost any after she came from the hospital so I must be doing something right. I know that it is common for first time moms to worry about this stuff and that to feel like your not giving her enough to eat or she isn't getting enough or your not producing enough milk. But damn does it suck knowing it's common but still freak out about it all the time!

a hand blown glass mouse!

I don't know where Aunt Barb finds things of mice! This is so cute and it's got pink ear's so it's perfect for monkey! So cute :) Actually all the presents for monkey have been cute! I can't wait till its warmer out and she will fit into some of the cute clothes she has received, especially the tiny little baby sandals my cousin Cindy got for her to!

horrible times are upon us again... :(

Last night was a mess. I tried feeding her around 9-10ish and it was what I describe as a crappy feed. She was just falling asleep to much. So after 45mins to 1hour I took her off and just let her sleep. I feel asleep on the couch and Chris, when I woke up was in the bed sleeping and she was with him. It was almost 2am and I was upset because she should have been fed at around 12ish. Although I guess she was asleep and it was a five hour stretch. Anyways Chris checked her diaper and it was dry. This really scared me since I started worrying about dehydration and that is a bad thing for her go for 5 hours without a soiled diaper at all. I of course was freaking out and wanted to go to the hospital but I ended up trying to feed her and then we went back to sleep. The next time we woke up she did have a pee (which was somewhat of a relief) but it was reallllly light and was nothing like any of her other diapers. So of course a whole lot of worry on my part. I felt like she wasn't eating enough and I was having troubles feeding her and it still feels like I am feeding her all the time.

It was just not a good night. I really didn't get too much sleep. We decided in the morning to count her pees for the day (well I am still counting her diapers everyday anyways) and if she still wasn't peeing to much that after Chris was done work we would go to the hospital. I tried calling the doctor but he wasn't in that day nor was the receptionist. Thankfully she did have pees today some of them really heavy but some of them really light which was still worrisome for me. I felt the feeding sessions today were shitty I decided to call A6 and see if Heidi had any openings this week. She had told us the last time to come back in two weeks to see how my nipple crack was doing and of course if I had any troubles before that to come back anytime. So I made the appointment for Thurs this week at 3pm since she was not in on Friday since it's Good Friday. So that made me feel a bit better. I just decided to keep watching her pees and watching for any other signs of dehydration, which she is not showing any signs of yet thankfully.

baby's first pro photos!

Tonight we went to get monkey's baby photos taken at a local photographer. The website shows some good photos and her price was reasonable at $100 bucks. I was really worried about baby crying the whole time since this past weekend she seemed like anytime she was awake she was crying her head off. I had expressed milk throughout the day in case I needed to top her up or feed her at the photographers since she seems to be wanting to eat every two hours and that really isn't a whole lot of time to do anything. Good thing I did because she went through a crying fit and I really didn't want to breast feed her there - it's just to awkward and I didn't have my pillow with me. So she sort of calmed down after we gave her the milk. I can't wait to see the photos since she is such a little cutie. I just wish we got some more pics of her with her baby fat and naked but she didn't like those to much. IT might have been to cold in the room for her.

We were there for a long time! Our appointment was at 5 and we got home at like 8! It is good though that she didn't rush us out of there. She was really nice to. I can't wait to get the pics back we should have them before the weekend so it will be nice to have pics to show people when we go home :)

Baby doc appointment...

Baby's doc appointment today went well. All my questions were answered. They were mostly about dry skin (which is normal) and poop colours, (which the yellow/brown we are seeing is normal). Chalk it up to being a paranoid first time mother. I can't remember all that I asked. Anyways she weighed in at 9lbs 14 oz. He seemed happy with it although I was sort of confused since the last appointment with Heidi her scale said she was 9lbs 10 oz. So that gain didn't seem right to me but he seemed happy with it (although he hadn't seen us in two weeks). It was still a gain and I was happy since he was happy with it. It was a quick check up. The next one we have with him is at her two month appointment where she has to get some of her first needles. He suggested we get these emla patch things to put on the spot on her legs where he is going to give the shots to her. I guess they have meds in them that numbs the skin or something. I don't know but we have a few weeks to figure it out and where to get them. He mentioned Costco but since we don't have a card there anymore we really can't get them there.

plugged duct...

I'm relieved that the plugged duct that I found in my left breast yesterday is not hurting again today. There was a really hard lump and tender spot in my boob yesterday and upon reading about plugged ducts on the internet I put hot washcloth on it and on my nipple to hopefully get any dried milk out of it. Also made sure that every time I fed monkey I used that side first and pumped at least once on that side. I also am trying to relax my death grip I usually have when holding my left breast while feeding her. That could cause it to. I noticed a few hours that the soreness was gone to my relief. They are also constantly leaking to which is annoying and when they leak through the washable breast pads I have it just makes me feel gross! The reusables are okay for home but I need to get some disposable ones for when we go out and go home because I do not want wet spots on my clothes! So embarrassing :( I hope it won't be like that forever!!

The joys of having a baby I guess. All of this stuff I never considered/knew would happen/thought about when we finally decided it was time to have a baby. The things you learn. I mean monkey is totally worth it though, it's just not the funnest stuff sometimes. I guess it could be a lot worse though.