Baby doc appointment...

Baby's doc appointment today went well. All my questions were answered. They were mostly about dry skin (which is normal) and poop colours, (which the yellow/brown we are seeing is normal). Chalk it up to being a paranoid first time mother. I can't remember all that I asked. Anyways she weighed in at 9lbs 14 oz. He seemed happy with it although I was sort of confused since the last appointment with Heidi her scale said she was 9lbs 10 oz. So that gain didn't seem right to me but he seemed happy with it (although he hadn't seen us in two weeks). It was still a gain and I was happy since he was happy with it. It was a quick check up. The next one we have with him is at her two month appointment where she has to get some of her first needles. He suggested we get these emla patch things to put on the spot on her legs where he is going to give the shots to her. I guess they have meds in them that numbs the skin or something. I don't know but we have a few weeks to figure it out and where to get them. He mentioned Costco but since we don't have a card there anymore we really can't get them there.

plugged duct...

I'm relieved that the plugged duct that I found in my left breast yesterday is not hurting again today. There was a really hard lump and tender spot in my boob yesterday and upon reading about plugged ducts on the internet I put hot washcloth on it and on my nipple to hopefully get any dried milk out of it. Also made sure that every time I fed monkey I used that side first and pumped at least once on that side. I also am trying to relax my death grip I usually have when holding my left breast while feeding her. That could cause it to. I noticed a few hours that the soreness was gone to my relief. They are also constantly leaking to which is annoying and when they leak through the washable breast pads I have it just makes me feel gross! The reusables are okay for home but I need to get some disposable ones for when we go out and go home because I do not want wet spots on my clothes! So embarrassing :( I hope it won't be like that forever!!

The joys of having a baby I guess. All of this stuff I never considered/knew would happen/thought about when we finally decided it was time to have a baby. The things you learn. I mean monkey is totally worth it though, it's just not the funnest stuff sometimes. I guess it could be a lot worse though.

Ugh so the past few days baby has been really fussy and it's making me feel like she isn't getting enough food when she is eating. I can no longer tell if she is hungry or just fussy. It has been exhausting! At least the last few days Chris has been here but now that it's Monday I am by myself. I really wish she would sleep a bit so I don't feel like I have to hold her the whole time. I guess I will just feed her between 2-3 hours and not in between unless I can't get her to stop crying. The last poop she had to was a big one and that might be the reason at that time that she was fussy but it was almost a brown colour and had like little bits of what looked like white blobs in it. Not sure what to think but will definitely have to see what her poop colours are the next few times. I don't know if it was bits of milk or what, and if it is, is it normal? Bah!!

It took us a while last night to get her to fall asleep after she woke up at 4am in the morning for food. It was almost two hours before I finally offered her my breast again in hopes that would put her to sleep. She finally did fall asleep and stayed asleep. Giving her her soother didn't help before that either. She would fall asleep but every time Chris went to put her in the cradle she would wake up! So no sleep for either of us!

doc appointment...

So yesterdays doc appointment went well. She weighed in just shy of 9lbs. So she weighs 8lbs and 15oz, gaining 5oz last week. That made me feel even better then it did the week before. This last week has been better though, only had a few days or times that I felt completely overwhelmed but thankfully that never happened when I was home by myself. It's such a relief to know that she is doing well and gaining. Our next appointment is in two weeks, so hopefully she will have gained by that time as well. Breastfeeding still is a challenge but my left nipple doesn't hurt as much as it did. Still does but at least it's not as bad.

Today Tam and Mom came up to visit with us and the baby. Missy (my sister's eldest) who was up the day before at Steph's (my sister's middle child) came by before she went back home. I think it was the first time she saw monkey since she was born :) It was a good visit. Nice to see them since we don't get to go to far right now, to hard when I have to feed her every 2-3 hours. I like the option of feeding her expressed milk in a bottle though. That's what I did when they were here since she was getting cranky during there visit. She didn't eat to much just before they got here so it's nice to be able to do that. That way I don't disappear with her for 30-60 mins! Mom said that JP (older brother) and Jen (his gf) will probably drop by either today or tomorrow to see the baby. JP was going to come up last week with the two boys but since I had such a bad day on Saturday he thought he would just wait until this weekend.

I can't believe how fast the first few months of the year have gone by, especially the month of March. It's April's Fools day today already! Today we have a doc appointment to see if monkey is still gaining weight. Hopefully she has despite the problems I am still having with breast feeding (mostly just the pain and latching). She seems to be bigger I think so she must be getting enough, not to mention she has enough pees and poops so that is a good sign. We shall see in a few hours. I am glad it's the weekend though. It will be nice to have Chris here the whole day for a few days. Breastfeeding and taking care of baby right now is exhausting!

I have been trying to journal but it never seems to work out. I am so behind as it is! So much to write about and I feel like I have no time! Monkey is actually sleeping at the moment so I thought I would at least journal about today and maybe do a bit of catch up on the last few weeks before I forget to much of what happened. I really wish I was able to journal my thoughts while I was in the hospital. I almost attempted it once but decided I would rather have rested and slept then writing anything. Plus it was sort of hard to sit up and be comfortable.

Last night Chris's mom and sister Lindsay came up to visit the baby. Linds is leaving next week to go work for the summer season at a resort so this is one of the last chances she will see the baby for awhile. She was like 'she is going to be so big the next time I see her!' I got really tired near the end of the night. They left around 9pm and I fed monkey then put her in the playpen and tried to sleep but it wasn't really working. I was pretty grumpy to say the least. I fed her around midnight, then Chris topped her up with 1.5 oz of expressed milk, then we went to sleep after she fell asleep. I woke around 5am and she was getting antzy to eat. So Chris went and prepared the two or so oz of expressed milk I had from that day and fed her that in a bottle. I decided that I needed a break that night from breast feeding. One because I was so tired before we went to bed and plus I though having 8 hours of her not hurting my nipple with the medicine on it would be good thing and hopefully give it a chance to heal. Breast feeding would be so much better if my nipple wasn't instant pain as soon as she latches on! I did go wipe it off and then express milk from both sides. The last time I went 6 or more hours without feeding or pumping my boobs were so full and hard it was uncomfortable. So I think pumping really helped last night. I think I got a little more then two oz fairly quickly. When I got up this morning they felt normal so that was good. I think the stuff might have helped my nipple a bit. It's not as bad as it was before so that is a plus. I can't wait until it's healed so I can stop using that stuff! I hate thinking that maybe I didn't get it all off. The pharmacist said to make sure it's off since it's bad for baby
 :(

After I got up this morning and fed her since she was wide awake for the longest time. She was fine when I held her but would get fussy when I put her down. She also had a really water yellowy smelly poop. Thankfully she did it before I had taken off her diaper and holy this diaper was full. She probably had a few pees in there as well since it was so heavy! I was planning on feeding her around 12:30 - 1pm but she got really fussy around 11:30 so I just fed her from my left side. She did pretty good probably eating 15-20 mins then fell asleep. I didn't bother with the right side since she was out cold, so she must have gotten enough from the right side? Now she is asleep. So I have a few hours before I have to wake her again to feed. It's exhausting having to feed her so often but at least I can watch the TV while I am doing it. She is so cute! LOVE her to death. :)

So that is our day so far. Just hanging out watching TV while she is sleeping. Maybe I will attempt to read or something or watch a movie soon. I already ate lunch so no need for that. I do need to drink more water since I am thirsty and that reminds me that I need to take my vitamins as well.!! I should go do that!

ooo yesterday I had a good idea for a story. Just a short children's book but it explains why babies smile when they are new born. Mom says that my Nanny used to say that when newborns smile they are talking to the Angels. So it's sort of a spin off of that :) I am excited to try and write the full story out! Hopefully I can do that soon. I wish I had a laptop or something so I can do that and sit on the couch to write. I really want one of those small computers just for writing. Some day maybe!

(and just to be confusing I wrote this entry on this exact day before I had caught up with entries before this)

4:25pm

So this last few weeks have been a emotional roller coaster! I badly need to update my blog on what has been happening! I thought though I would as least record my thoughts and feelings on today so that way I don't forget everything that I am going through.

Yesterday I was a total basket case. I have been having a hard time getting baby to latch properly, especially on my left nipple, which hurts like hell every time she does latch on. Like instant 10 on the pain scale. It does ease off but it hurts so much at the moment that it's like I expect it to hurt soo much that it's hard not to get really tense when she goes to latch. It's so hard not to scream out loud that is how bad the pain is. Well I actually did scream a few times. :(

Today I feel so much better though and feel like I can do this, although going back and forth between feeling confident and wanting to give up is starting to suck. Well it's mostly the feeding part that I don't like since it's time consuming. Takes about 40 mins to feed her, I try 20 min on each side to make sure she is getting enough. Also she falls asleep soon after she gets latched on so that is another reason it takes awhile. Then it's changing the diaper in between to wake her up again to feed on the other side. Then once that is done it's ten minutes on the breast pump to extract some more breast milk and then a few more minutes to clean and sanitize the parts.

okies baby is crying must go see why...