10:15 am

Last night we got the no cry sleep solution and the no cry nap solution by Elizabeth Pantley. So far I like what I am reading. Night time is more of a problem getting her to sleep then it is getting her to sleep longer at night since I can handle the 1 -2 night feedings she wakes up for (depending if she is going through a growth spurt or not) and I have been dream feeding her at 11 again since that prevents her from waking up an hour after I go to sleep. Last night for instance, I dream fed her at 11:15ish and she slept until 5am when she wanted to eat again then slept until 7 something. So that was nice. Still was hard for me to get up for the day but at least I got enough sleep to have patience and function!

So today I am tracking how long she naps, when she naps etc since she says that her daytime sleep effects her night time sleep. I already knew that she wasn't sleeping enough in a day. She is supposed toget roughly around 15 hours of sleep and she is only really getting maybe 11 or so. I have to track naps and night time sleep for three days then look at the data and figure out a strategy and see how it goes. The books are easy to read. I should have started with the nap book though. Chris was reading that one last night. I am already half way through the one. I like what I am reading so far and I love that it's a no cry solution. I really don't think letting them cry it out is very nice :(. The author was successful in doing that and so have a lot of people. I am so glad that the books were both checked in at the library. I love the library. :)

awww monkey is currently napping in her swing (took awhile for her to nod off) but she is sooo cute!! It took about 30 -40 mins for her to fall asleep. She was cranky and yawning a few times when put her in there. I was shocked that she would be that tired already since we got up at almost 7:30 but I guess that was two hours?

11:21 pm

Monkey was a pain to get to sleep tonight. She was showing signs of tiredness so we went through her bedtime routine, we actually started it early as well but I was still in her room for over an hour before I had to get Chris to take over because I was just getting too frustrated. I ended up going back in there after 20 mins because he was still in there and she was crying. I had to nurse her to sleep. I really think part of the problem is that the curtains let to much light in. It might not be a problem later on when she can go to sleep on her own but until she is used to it I think it will be a problem. I had done everything I could think of to get her to sleep before I called Chris. I had her laying in the crib and I was rubbing her hand and tummy, stroking her head, rocking her, but she was to busy looking around. I thought she would have gone to bed earlier then 8 but she ended up not going to sleep until almost 9.

I think this morning I was having a dream that monkey was cutting teeth. Or rather that they were visible under her gums. Except it was like everyone of them at least on the bottom, were pretty pointy under the gums. Strange dreams I have I tell you.

She ended up sleeping for about 2 hours her first nap today and it was really hard for me to get her to take a second one. She only slept for about 30mins. This is so frustrating, not to mention tiring for me! Hopefully tommarrow will be better.

11:59 am

I feel almost like I am going to have either a panic attack or anxiety attack. I know I'm probably being to hard on myself or stressing to much but this trying to get her to sleep even for naps is starting to get to me. I think tonight we are definitely going to the library to get some books on sleep and hopefully that will help. We have already establish somewhat of a routine for night time. The problem is trying to get her to sleep! It usually takes about an hour before she will finally pass out. The only time it's quicker is because she fell asleep while I was nursing her. It's really hard to know what to do. UGH! I've been reading a few things an various websites but it's all from things people have tried themselves. I think once I read a few books on the subject it will be better. Another problem now is trying to get her to nap in her crib. I tried today and it just didn't work. Then when I brought her back out with me and put her in her swing she fell asleep within a few mins! That just showed me how tired she was. I guess her naps aren't scheduled enough. She showed tired signs around 10 but it isn't until now that she finally fell asleep! ahhhh.

I also want to get some books to read to her before bed time. Our routine right now consists of bathing her, getting her reading in her jammies for bed, feeding her, then putting her to bed. So I would like to add in there maybe rocking her so she is drowsy while reading to her before she goes into her crib. I think if it works out that she is falling into a deep sleep while nursing her I might either have to nurse her before her bath or bath her 30 mins earlier or something so she doesn't do that and have more time to read and rock her? I don't know though if it's bad to bath her after feeding her though. To me that sort of seems like the whole don't swing your baby etc to much after feeding he or she will spit up.

~shrugs. I just feel so hopeless right now :( like seriously how do other people do it?!?! I don't expect her to just instantly go to sleep when I put her in there I just don't even know how to get to the point where she can do that. I don't know if what I am doing at the moment is just getting her dependant on it to go to sleep. Like her soother or me holding her hand and soothing her or me sitting beside the crib reading or whatever!

9:18 pm

So Saturday night started out okay. I was going to skip dream feeding her at 11 to see if she would be okay till later on but she woke up herself at 11 pm to eat. After nursing her she went back to sleep easily...until 4am that is. She woke up to be nursed again and then was wide awake! Nothing we did put her back to sleep it was horrible. I also made the stupid mistake of not going to bed until 1am. When will I LEARN that I can no longer be a night hawk and sleep in! So we were up for the day after trying to get her to go to sleep for 2 hours and only getting 3 hours of sleep. Chris and I were both cranky, I think she was the only one that got enough sleep since she passed out in her bouncer around 8 and then again later on. I remember at 11 am thinking because I was so tired that it felt like 5 pm and then looked at the clock and was like nope its only 11 am :(.

The sucky thing is that Chris's parents phoned and invited us to go for a picnic with them and his sister's kids but we were soo tired that we didn't. It sort of sucked since it would have been nice to get out of the house and to see them. I ended up falling asleep on the couch at 3 pm, well all of us did really. Chris said I passed out then he waiting for monkey to fall asleep in her swing so he could take a nap on the floor as well. We all woke up a few hours later. I felt better, I still didn't get enough sleep but I could at least function again.

I also had Chris bring up the top mattress from the bed downstairs and put it on monkeys floor. I am such a first time mom I know, but I am not ready for her to be alone in her room! At least for the first few nights anyways. I hope that sometime this week or the weekend that I will be back in my own bed. It will be hard but I think I will just leave the mattress in her room for a bit just so I have the option of curling up on her floor if I really need to. I think I'm getting better at not freaking out all the time when she is asleep and constantly having to check in on her. Before when we started her routine I checked on her a lot now it's not as often. It's only a few times :) The other bad part of her not being in the same room as me is when I have to nurse her. I can just see it being hard for me to fall back asleep if I have to go from my room to hers and back again. I wish we could leave our doors open but we have two cats so that isn't an option. If I could I probably would feel better about not sleeping in the same room anymore. It's not even about thinking I won't hear her since we do have a baby monitor. I just don't like feeling like we are closed off from each other. I wish our basement was done because then I would just put the cats in there for the night but I can't. UGH. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, I guess. We will see how the rest of the week goes.

Last night was better. I tried not dream feeding her but she woke up a few hours later. It was weird since I woke up, I was dreaming as well but I can't remember about what now, I could have sworn it was 4 or 5am but when I looked at the clock I was shocked that it was only 1am! (we went to bed shortly after 11pm) I must have had some good deep sleep or something. She didn't go back to sleep easily at all. I had to sit in the rocker beside her crib for a little bit before she was sleepy enough that I could lay back down. I think the 4am session she went back down easier. All in all me and Chris had a better sleep then we did the night before. I think I will go back to dream feeding her before I go to bed again for awhile.

9:59pm

Weird that she woke up at 9:30pm screaming. I only got her to sleep at 9pm so I don't know what that was about. I couldn't sooth her so I ended up feeding her so maybe that was it since she ate off of both sides then fell back asleep. Hopefully she stays asleep now :( I don't know now if I should dream feed her before we go to bed or not now, since that will be in an hour or so.

The worst about this trying to get her to sleep etc is that I am afraid of doing the wrong thing and having something of a bad habit to break later, like always nursing her to sleep. I mean will she become dependant on that and not sleep easily when she is weaned? Do babies that are bottle fed generally fall asleep while eating their last bottle of the night before bed? I think we might go to the library tomorrow and get some books on the subject. I just really don't know whats normal for a four month old and if they just naturally get better at going to bed themselves and not have us either nurse/rock/hold/standing over their crib to go to sleep.

10:15 pm

Argh she just woke up again crying. I have no idea what is with that and of course it has me worried. I was able to sooth her to sleep quickly though at least. Hopefully this time she stays asleep for awhile.

not a fun night..

1:43 pm

Last night was not fun. It started out normal. We could see that she was getting really tired around 7 (which makes us think that maybe we should put her to bed earlier then 8) so we gave her her bath and I fed her. She passed out pretty quickly while I nursed her - which showed me how tired she was. I really don't like when that happens though since I don't want her to get used to falling asleep that way. Chris was able to pick her up and put her in the cradle and she stayed asleep. We thought we were home free but she woke up crying abut 30mins later and it took him a bit to get her to sleep finally. Then like normal I dream fed her before we went to sleep except for some reason last night she woke completely up. When I was done feeding her and Chris put her back in her cradle she was smiling at me and doing her cooing noises which has us both chuckling because it was so cute. I was trying my hardest not to since I didn't want her to think it was play time. It was around 1am! She finally sort of fell into a shallow sleep after me sitting beside the cradle but ignoring her. I was so tired that I ended up laying down in the bed since she was almost asleep but she ended up waking up and crying.

Chris went to try and get her to sleep. Eventually he did but geez! She woke next at 5 something to nurse and went back to sleep afterwards easily then didn't wake again till 9 am.  After nursing her Chris took her out so I could sleep a bit more and came and got me at 10:30 to nurse her again. Every other time I have tried to nurse her after this has been complete hell. I think it's a combo that she is super tired since she wouldn't go down for a nap, she is warm laying on the pillow on top of me (even with the a/c on since the great room is always 6 degrees warmer then the thermostat, while the rest of the house is even with it).

We were going to go out but I think we might have to wait until later or tomorrow. We finally put her back in her swing to see if she will stop fighting sleep and take a nap and then hopefully eat when she wakes up. If not I am going to have to fed her the expressed milk that I have in the fridge that we were going to use when we were out, since I don't know what else to do. I'm glad I have that little bit though.

I think I need to go to the library and get some books on sleep for babies because this is becoming tiresome and it's not really fair to her that she is always so freaking cranky. :( She is right now fighting sleep!! why won't she just go to SLEEP! ?

Today I need to clean her room and finish the tree (at least the trunk part) and get her room ready for her sleeping in there tonight. She might have a better sleep in there since there is more room in there then the cradle. It's going to be hard but i'ts the best for her. I just don't know how nursing her is going to be. It's going to suck that I will have to pretty much wake all the way up to go nurse her. Hopefully she sleeps through the whole night soon and drops the night feedings. I think  tonight I will just left her to sleep instead of dream feeding her. Heidi says the only way to tell if she won't wake up a few hours after you normally dream feed her is to just skip that nursing session and see if she will sleep until 5 in the morning. We will see. Once she gets used to her crib then I will start to try putting her in there for naps so I don't have to tip toe around here like a mouse when she is napping. That way I might be able to get some things done. This is so hard :( I fear that we might have to use the cry it out method :( which I really want to avoid!

2:02 pm

She is FINALLY asleep. Now we just have to not wake her up for at least 30 mins :( I'm surprised she dozed off considering Chris is cooking hamburgers in the kitchen.

8:05 pm

She slept for almost 2 hours earlier, so that is good. She was getting super cranky again around 6:30 so we got her bath ready and bathed her, changed her into her jammies and I nursed her. Unfortunately it was to sleep but she needed to eat. Chris moved the CD player and the rocking chair in her room after I was done nursing her and I went and put her in her crib. She didn't wake up when I set her down which was a surprise. She usually does. I brought my book in with me since her room is pretty bright in there since the sun shines in her windows at night. I didn't mind staying in there for a bit since I could read. I'm glad I did stay in there for a bit since she woke up. I tucked a blanket around her and gave her her soother and then sat back down and read some more. The few times I glanced at her she was looking at me but I didn't hear a peep out of her. I read for a bit and when I looked over about 10 mins ago she was a sleep again. Aww so tonight is the first night she is going to be in her room in her own crib for the night. I don't think I am going to get to much sleep tonight! So far she hasn't woken up again. I think we are going to have to start putting her to bed between 7- 7:30 since I think keeping her up till 8 she just gets to cranky and over tired and has a hard time sleeping.

I also think I'm not going to dream feed her at 11 and see how long she sleeps tonight. Oh this is going to be hard. I can see that I will be up a lot going in and checking on her! She is so cute I don't want anything to happen to her! I think I am getting better about that though since we started putting her to bed at a certain time. It is still hard though.

Chris is currently gone to get some pizza, wings and potato wedges at the pizza place down the road. The make AWESOME pizza. I cant wait till he gets back since I am starving!

12:23 pm

omg she is finally asleep again! That only took another hour to finally stop fighting sleep and actually go to sleep. Sucky thing is now I have to tip toe around the greatroom/kitchen without waking her up! :(

3:26pm

wow two naps in one day, that is a record. Although her first one wasnt very long so I guess that makes sense!

Four month check up and shots

Wednesday Monkey had her four month shots. Chris had gone Tues night on the way home and picked up what we thought were emla patches. I didn't discover that it was emla creme until 2 hours before her appointment! Now it's the exact same thing just its application is different. Instead of just peeling the backing, sticking it on then pressing the middle down (the easiest), I had to take one side off so you could 'see' through the plastic (which is thin and flimsy), then apply half the tube of creme in a spot on her thigh, then peel the backing off the sticky side, be o so careful not to pull on the flimsy plastic to much while trying to get it over the creme and not let monkey's flailing hand get into the creme. One royal pain in the arse if you ask me. Chris said when I mentioned it to him when he came to pick us up that the person that got it for him at the pharmacy had looked around for a bit, asked someone where to find it then grabbed it, put it in a bag then stapled the receipt to it so he didn't get a chance to look at it. He said he saw the words emla and didn't think anything of it. I mean it wouldn't have been a big deal if we weren't dealing with a 4 month old that doesn't understand the meaning of hold still for one second! I ended up saying to loudly her name at on point because she almost got one of her little paws in the creme. She instantly started crying and I felt so horrible! Thankfully I got the patch on it okay and did the other side quickly.

Then I was like doh! how am I going to feed her/get myself dressed (yes I was still in my pj's) without her like pinching the cover. Somehow I managed and it wasn't until we were half way to the doctors office that I realized her seat belt in her car seat was squishing the creme to one side of the patch. So all that carefulness was for nothing. Pain in the ass creme! Next time we will make sure it's the patches. 

She weighed in at 13lbs 8 oz, her height was 62.4 cm and her head was 42.2 cm. This time thankfully the wooden measure thing didn't clank and scare her, so going into the doctors appointment she wasn't screaming at the top of her lungs. When the doctor came in she did make a bit strange and start crying, but sort of calmed down a bit. Chris and I both went to stand near her after he got the needles. I watched when he gave them to her (big mistake) and was shocked to see how far he pushes the needles in. Yikes! I wish I wouldn't have watched since I hate needles. She did cry during that but it wasn't that bad and once he handed her to Chris she calmed right down. I was so shocked, it was a completely different monkey then last time! We were actually able to talk to the doctor and we could actually hear each other. 

We really didn't have any concerns except to ask how she is doing weight wise. He said she is about 50 percentile in both weight and height for her age. We also asked about the rotovirus vaccine. It is supposed to be covered soon but he said with them there is no guarantee that when they say Aug it will actually start to happen in Aug. He suggested we get one dose of it and gave us a prescription for it, since we need to get all three doses in before she is 8months old and they have to be taken 6 weeks a part. Then he said to call the office within 6 weeks they will be able to tell us if its covered or not. One dose cost us like 80 bucks! So hopefully when it's time for the next dose it will be covered. We got to give it to her at home which was nice. I was nervous about doing it because if she spit it all out then there goes 80 bucks! I had some expressed milk in the fridge so when we got home we got that ready, got her to drink a bit of the milk then Chris squirted the vaccine into her mouth as per instructions. She had no problem swallowing it. She drank it down like it was a bottle! LOL, then we just fed her the rest of the bottle. She wasn't even cranky the rest of the day. It's like the needles and the other vaccine didn't phase her at all!

She was a bit stubborn when we tried to put her down for the night but that isn't anything new. What a cute little monkey! I'm glad that her shots went well. So next time she has to get any is at 6 months.

perplexed face in her bouncer...

I just put monkey in her bouncer and went and got the bar thing that goes over it. We had it off before since she was so small and the things that hang off of it would like swing and probably would have hit her in the face. She now is in awe of them and has like a confused or thinking face on. It's so cute :)