12:15 pm
So I just finished feeding monkey and have tried for the first time to put her down for a nap in her crib. I just want to rush back to her room. It's hard not to be able to see that she is okay or what she is doing. :( We have the monitor in there and I can hear the mobile but still. I can't just look over and see that she is still breathing. This is so HARD. We need to start putting her to bed in there soon as well since she is really getting way to big for the cradle. I probably won't sleep at all when we do that for like the first few weeks. I'm so afraid something is going to happen to her. Ugh this sort of sucks. I wish that it would be easy to put the crib in our room. At least for another month or so but it's to wide for the door and the way her closet in her room it just wouldn't work. I'm going to go check on her in a few moments to see what she is doing. I don't know if she will go take a nap or not. She was yawning and was sleepy when I fed her but yeah. She at least isn't screaming right now. I can just see myself sleeping on the floor in her room for a bit to. This sucks.
ooh there just was a noise. She probably will start crying any moment now :( It's really hard to predict when she will go down for a nap though. Sometimes I think she will be out for a good stretch and she will wake up within 10 mins. At night she has been sleeping good. The night before last she was out around 9pm and I had a hard time trying to get her to eat something at 11 - sort of a dream feed. She only latched to one side. I was dreading that she would wake up within an hour of me going to bed but she slept until almost 6am! Nice to get that much sleep but realllly bad for me. My whole top half of my right breast was plugged and did it ever hurt! The left was on it's way there but it wasn't as bad. So during the day they both improved but weren't completely gone. Same thing happened last night but I didn't think it would be as bad since she did eat somewhat okay at 11. But I was wrong this morning the right was even worse! OUCH! The left was okay thank god. This last feeding finally relieved the pressure though. Seriously I HATE breastfeeding. It really sucks. It's just one thing after another. I hope I at least make it to 6 months. Only about 3 more to go.
12:33 pm
Nope that didn't last long. She started crying soon after the mobile stopped turning. Oh well it was a trial. She seems happy playing on the floor on her fun mat at the moment. I feel like complete shit. I have the last few days. Just a stupid headache that isn't really one but won't go away. Like I need to sleep or something even though I got enough sleep. Maybe I have been clenching my teeth in the night or something. The headache really makes playing with, holding, or feeding monkey really tough. I wish Chris was here to help me today. Unfortunately today after work he has an appointment with crappy tire to change the oil in the car. :( So who knows what time he will get home at!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
thunderstorms with the possibility of tornadoes = not cool....
We just got out of a severe thunderstorm warning. Scary crap considering I didn't want to be in the room with a wall of windows but I didn't want to not be able to see outside either since you can't see tornado's coming if you can't see outside. I did end up sitting in the bedroom with the baby though until we were out of the warning. Thankfully we didn't lose power either or that would have freaked me out considering once again! when I NEED the cell to be on it was freaking dead. I have it charging at the moment but still. Stupid useless thing!! Also glad that we didn't lose power since being in the bedroom I couldn't see if anything was coming our way. I just sat in there watching the weather network updates. We need to get a wind up radio or something. Hopefully we won't go back under the storm warning again. I hate being home by myself when this happens, especially with the baby and especially when they are talking about possibility of tornadoes. GEEZ!
OMG baby is crying....!!
OMG baby is crying....!!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Right now I am aiming to at least bf monkey until the 6 month mark. It is going all right currently. She isn't taking as long and seems content when she is done (usually between 20-30 mins) but still eats every 1.5-2 hours. The only time she goes three is when she takes a nap. She's napping right now in her swing. The second day in a row that she went down for a nap! sweet. That makes for a less than cranky baby later on in the night. I need to get her sheets etc washed for the crib so at afternoon nap time I can put her down in there. I need to get used to her not being in the same room as me. Mom suggested I use the crib for her nap time so when we put her in there at night it wouldn't be so hard. She really needs to start sleeping in her crib at night because she is getting to big for the cradle. She sprawls out in there and sometimes whacks her hands off the side, not hard but it usually wakes her up. Of course when we move around it also startles her as well. It is just going to be soooo hard
:( I'm sure the first few nights or so I won't get any sleep at all, and of course waking up to feed her in the middle of the night will suck as well since I will have to basically wake up completely by the time I go into her room etc. Then again maybe she will sleep till the morning if she is in her own room. Right now she sleeps for at least 4-5 hours and then 3 hours after I feed her. Which is so nice. But the weird thing is I find myself more tired then I was when I had to get up every few hours to feed her. I don't know why that is. Maybe it just has to do with the warm weather? She seems to be currently napping which is a good thing :) Usually she wakes up 5 mins later.
2:41pm
So much for her napping. It's pretty windy here today, a little bit ago a big gust of wind made either the stove or laundry room vent clank really loud and startled her awake. I left her to see if she would fall back asleep but after about ten mins she started crying. I was hoping the swing would put her back to sleep but no such luck. I had to feed her again right after since she wouldn't stop crying and she did seem hungry. Now she is content thankfully. :)
:( I'm sure the first few nights or so I won't get any sleep at all, and of course waking up to feed her in the middle of the night will suck as well since I will have to basically wake up completely by the time I go into her room etc. Then again maybe she will sleep till the morning if she is in her own room. Right now she sleeps for at least 4-5 hours and then 3 hours after I feed her. Which is so nice. But the weird thing is I find myself more tired then I was when I had to get up every few hours to feed her. I don't know why that is. Maybe it just has to do with the warm weather? She seems to be currently napping which is a good thing :) Usually she wakes up 5 mins later.
2:41pm
So much for her napping. It's pretty windy here today, a little bit ago a big gust of wind made either the stove or laundry room vent clank really loud and startled her awake. I left her to see if she would fall back asleep but after about ten mins she started crying. I was hoping the swing would put her back to sleep but no such luck. I had to feed her again right after since she wouldn't stop crying and she did seem hungry. Now she is content thankfully. :)
Saturday, May 28, 2011
stressed..
The breast feeding thing is stressful again. I honestly don't know what to do. Two days ago I went to bed with a really bad plugged duct on the right. Actually it almost felt like the whole top side was blocked. It hurt like hell. I tried nursing her on that side and then was worried that the other side felt like it was plugging up to but thankfully it didn't. Anyways since it was later in the night when I felt the blockage she was to sleepy to nurse which sucked. I was worried about going to bed with it plugged because waking up four hours later I might be in so much pain. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Unfortunately she didn't unplug it until sometime in the afternoon of the next day. I had used warm compresses a bit before I fed her and we just got comfy on the couch and she ate. Thankfully I felt relief eventually. But seriously I am getting sick of this crap. I even tried pumping a few times to hopefully loosen the blockage. Well all that I did must have worked since it's gone.
I think the shield is to big for the pump though since I've tried everything to help with the suction. Actually it might have worked a bit because I think it's better but I still run it at the highest setting and I don't think it's the greatest. I still was able to get about an 1oz out after feeding her, so it's sort of working. Yesterday we went to the store in the crappy mall because I knew they had different sizes. Unfortunately they had every size but the size I needed. So now I have to call around and figure out where to get it. I hope this solves the problem though, but in the mean time at least I can still pump milk out. It's nice to have that option especially when we are away from the house for more then a few hours.
Seriously though today she is really cranky and fussy. I feel like every five mins she is back on the boob. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't even know if the herbs are making a difference anymore but I don't want to stop taking them until Thurs or Fri next week so that when and if it goes to shit again it will be on the weekend and Chris will be here to help me. It's just really frustrating. I have no idea what to do. GRRR. Why can't it just be freaking easy for me? After all that I went through I don't want to stop then all that worry and stress would be for nothing but at the same time is it worth it? Well in the long run for her it is but for me? I don't know. She could possibly be going through a growth spurt maybe. Although it's a few weeks until she is three months though. It's possible or does she just need a freaking nap! She is stubborn about going to sleep! :( ahhhhh
I think the shield is to big for the pump though since I've tried everything to help with the suction. Actually it might have worked a bit because I think it's better but I still run it at the highest setting and I don't think it's the greatest. I still was able to get about an 1oz out after feeding her, so it's sort of working. Yesterday we went to the store in the crappy mall because I knew they had different sizes. Unfortunately they had every size but the size I needed. So now I have to call around and figure out where to get it. I hope this solves the problem though, but in the mean time at least I can still pump milk out. It's nice to have that option especially when we are away from the house for more then a few hours.
Seriously though today she is really cranky and fussy. I feel like every five mins she is back on the boob. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't even know if the herbs are making a difference anymore but I don't want to stop taking them until Thurs or Fri next week so that when and if it goes to shit again it will be on the weekend and Chris will be here to help me. It's just really frustrating. I have no idea what to do. GRRR. Why can't it just be freaking easy for me? After all that I went through I don't want to stop then all that worry and stress would be for nothing but at the same time is it worth it? Well in the long run for her it is but for me? I don't know. She could possibly be going through a growth spurt maybe. Although it's a few weeks until she is three months though. It's possible or does she just need a freaking nap! She is stubborn about going to sleep! :( ahhhhh
Saturday, May 21, 2011
needle fun...not :(
So putting the patches on wasn't as bad as I thought, although her legs were pretty small for the area it had to cover. I sort of freaked out earlier in the day when I read the instructions and it said not to use under 3 months unless instructed by a doctor nor to use more then one at a time. So I ended up calling the doctor office to ask. The receptionist said she never heard of not using two and she had a two month old in the other day with two on. So I just went with it. I was still hesitant but I didn't know what to expect.
We got there and she weighed her. She was only 11lbs 10z which was down from the weekend but that is because at the hospital they weighed her with her clothes and diaper on and she was 12 lbs there so yeah. She also measured her and her head but I didn't get a chance to catch those numbers so I will have to do that myself this weekend sometime so I have a record of it. Unfortunately when she moved the wooden measuring thing it banged shut and it must have started Monkey because she started wailing! I never heard her cry that hard or loud before and nothing either of us could do would make her stop crying. I was sitting there thinking, 'OH great she hasn't even had her shots yet!'. Her screams were so loud! Even her soother didn't help at all. The doctor checked her over and went and got the needles. I don't think she liked him taking the stickers off. I couldn't really see what was going on since I was behind the doctor (the table thing she was on was against the other wall).
Chris said he didn't think she noticed the first needle because she was in the middle of a cry. She might have noticed the second one. It was hard to tell since she was crying already anyways. She sort of calmed down once we got her dressed and in the stroller, although Chris had to drive her around the office while I was booking the next appointment for her four month shots. She also gave me a immunization card to show what she had done today.
I tried to ask the doctor a few questions but it was hard to hear him. I did ask if she would have any problems with the shots. He said she shouldn't and that we could give her Tylenol for pain if she has any. I also asked about her non peeing for long periods over night but he wasn't concerned about that. I wanted to ask about switching to formula but it was hard to hear and concentrate anyways with the screaming. I had found online one of the formula sites had a chart of how to switch to formula anyways.
So that night she seemed alright. There might have been more crying then normal but for the most part she wasn't to bad. I just fed her often when she just wouldn't stop crying. Well I guess it wasn't to many more times then normal. She slept last night for 6-7 hours again! Then slept again for 3-4 hours after I fed her at 4 in the morning. Crazy! I almost worry sometimes because she doesn't get up. I had to wake her up both times though to eat! It might have been because it was warm in there though.
It's warm in the house today. Around 85! That is the highest I have ever seen it. I put monkey in the cute little outfit that Tammy and the girls got her (the onsie with the giraffe on it and the polka dotted diaper cover so she would be cooler). She looks so cute!!
We might go for a walk today although with it being this hot I have no idea what to wear and I don't want to feel huge nor overheat out in the sun. I really can't wait to get rid of the rest of the prego weight! geeez!
We got there and she weighed her. She was only 11lbs 10z which was down from the weekend but that is because at the hospital they weighed her with her clothes and diaper on and she was 12 lbs there so yeah. She also measured her and her head but I didn't get a chance to catch those numbers so I will have to do that myself this weekend sometime so I have a record of it. Unfortunately when she moved the wooden measuring thing it banged shut and it must have started Monkey because she started wailing! I never heard her cry that hard or loud before and nothing either of us could do would make her stop crying. I was sitting there thinking, 'OH great she hasn't even had her shots yet!'. Her screams were so loud! Even her soother didn't help at all. The doctor checked her over and went and got the needles. I don't think she liked him taking the stickers off. I couldn't really see what was going on since I was behind the doctor (the table thing she was on was against the other wall).
Chris said he didn't think she noticed the first needle because she was in the middle of a cry. She might have noticed the second one. It was hard to tell since she was crying already anyways. She sort of calmed down once we got her dressed and in the stroller, although Chris had to drive her around the office while I was booking the next appointment for her four month shots. She also gave me a immunization card to show what she had done today.
I tried to ask the doctor a few questions but it was hard to hear him. I did ask if she would have any problems with the shots. He said she shouldn't and that we could give her Tylenol for pain if she has any. I also asked about her non peeing for long periods over night but he wasn't concerned about that. I wanted to ask about switching to formula but it was hard to hear and concentrate anyways with the screaming. I had found online one of the formula sites had a chart of how to switch to formula anyways.
So that night she seemed alright. There might have been more crying then normal but for the most part she wasn't to bad. I just fed her often when she just wouldn't stop crying. Well I guess it wasn't to many more times then normal. She slept last night for 6-7 hours again! Then slept again for 3-4 hours after I fed her at 4 in the morning. Crazy! I almost worry sometimes because she doesn't get up. I had to wake her up both times though to eat! It might have been because it was warm in there though.
It's warm in the house today. Around 85! That is the highest I have ever seen it. I put monkey in the cute little outfit that Tammy and the girls got her (the onsie with the giraffe on it and the polka dotted diaper cover so she would be cooler). She looks so cute!!
We might go for a walk today although with it being this hot I have no idea what to wear and I don't want to feel huge nor overheat out in the sun. I really can't wait to get rid of the rest of the prego weight! geeez!
Friday, May 20, 2011
baby's first needles...
So last night I had the baby eat off the right side more and finally after a lot of massaging and warm compresses it started to drain! Mucho relief since it was basically the whole top of my breast. I HATE PLUGGED DUCTS! Seriously they are starting to annoy me. I have no idea what I did to cause this one. I'm just glad that it went away mosty. It's not 100% gone but could you imagine what it would have been like in the middle of the night! I would have had to wake the baby to eat instead of letting her sleep until she woke up!!
Last night she slept from 12:30 to about 7! Which was super nice! Except I had to check her a few times to make sure she was breathing :( but I think that is me being paranoid. She also went the whole night without peeing AGAIN. UGH. I'm sure the flood gates will open soon though. It just reminded me that I have to mention it to the doctor today. At least when she has done it, it's only at night time so maybe she just is good at holding it or something. That would be nice if it meant she was easy to potty train. But seriously she had so much milk from the right side once the plugged areas let go I thought she would have had a super soaker this morning. The only thing about today is I have to remember to put on the emla patches around 2:40! So they will be ready for when he does his needles. Ugh I am not looking forward to that and I just want it to be over with!
Last night she slept from 12:30 to about 7! Which was super nice! Except I had to check her a few times to make sure she was breathing :( but I think that is me being paranoid. She also went the whole night without peeing AGAIN. UGH. I'm sure the flood gates will open soon though. It just reminded me that I have to mention it to the doctor today. At least when she has done it, it's only at night time so maybe she just is good at holding it or something. That would be nice if it meant she was easy to potty train. But seriously she had so much milk from the right side once the plugged areas let go I thought she would have had a super soaker this morning. The only thing about today is I have to remember to put on the emla patches around 2:40! So they will be ready for when he does his needles. Ugh I am not looking forward to that and I just want it to be over with!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Baby is sleeping in her swing. I guess she must have gotten enough the last time I fed her which was around 2 pm. We took a trip to work to show her to a few people that hadn't seen her and of course some that already had so I had tried to feed her at 11:45 am but it had only been about an hour since she last ate so I don't think she was to interested or got to much at all. So after getting home I thought she would be hungry and she was a bit cranky but again she didn't seem to eat to much. Maybe she has just gotten really efficient or something? She was rubbing her eyes (she just started doing this last week and it's the cutest thing ever) so I set her in her swing with her soother and turned it on and she is now napping :)
I tried pumping last night and this morning. I haven't pumped in a while but it is nice to have some milk to bring with us when we go somewhere just in case. Well it has like no suction on it anymore and it's frustrating the HELL out of me. I hate pumping but right now I don't even have the OPTION to pump. GAWD. After this I will hate the words breast feeding and anything that has to do with it. It finally is going okay and then the pump is being a jerk. SERIOUSLY! I'm so annoyed at the moment. I was reading on the LLL boards and someone mentioned that it might be the membrane that needs to be changed. I have two extra ones that haven't been used at all so next time I try I will use one of those. If that doesn't the same then the book has a few suggestions, although really they are all common sense. Another person on the LLL boards also mentioned try taking it apart and making sure when you put it back together that everything is put together tightly. That seemed to work for them. So I have a few things to try. If none of those work I will probably bring it with us when we see Heidi in about 3 weeks and/or call Medela and see what they say. I really hope it's something easy like the membrane just needs to be replaced. Ugh. Stupid thing.
Tomorrow monkey gets her first needles and I am not looking forward to it. I hope they aren't as bad as I think it's going to be. I could barely stand it when they did the heel prick test, but that had to be worse then two needles. :( Tomorrow I am also going to ask his recommendations on what type of formula to get for her and how I would go about transitioning from bf to formula feeding. I know last weekend I was ready to give up bf but it seems to be going way better this week so I will keep trucking for as long as I can. Right now my goal is 6 months and hopefully I can stretch it out to at least a year. I really want to continue with it since it's the best for her and the perks of bf are so much better then bottle feeding. She also seems to be not taking as long although it's still every 2-3 hours and she is sleeping at least a 4-5 hours stretch at night so that is really helping. I think at one point this week while I was feeding her I was just looking down at her and thinking that I might actually miss it if I stopped and that just made me sad. It seems that I just have to keep taking those pills (3 of each) 3 times a day. I'm glad that they aren't that expensive! Hmm I might have to calculate how much it would cost to get to 6 months old if there is only enough pills in one bottle for 10 days. When I think of it like that, that kind of sucks. The last two times I tried weening myself off of them, everything got really shitty and stressful and it seemed like she was having a hard time. Those times really made me seriously consider formula, since the constant worry and stress gets exhausting after awhile.
These boards here at the LLL have really helped me, I haven't posted as of yet because all my questions have been answered. There are tons of other mothers out there that have gone through the same thing I have. If your breastfeeding and having trouble definitely check it out: http://forums.llli.org/index.php
I can't believe it's almost the end of May already. It seems like yesterday was my birthday and now it's almost June. Monkey is two months old now!! She was two months on Tues! Time flies by quickly! I also look at the breast feeding in that perspective as well. Sure it seems like it's a long time to do this, since it's so often and time consuming, but in the long run it's only a scratch on the surface and this time with baby will be gone so quickly even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. I want to do what's best for her and if it's only going to get easier I might try to get past 3 months and see how it is. If I give up now I will never know, and I didn't go through all that trouble to stop when it seems like it's going okay finally. Took a lot of tears , stress and determination to get this far I might as well keep trucking. Who knows though a few days from now I might feel differently again.
I also want to finish painting the baby's room this weekend. I just have to stop at Michael's and get the paint for the tree and leaves. I'm excited but scared to put anything over the green in case I screw it up lol! I probably will tape the outline of the tree first before starting then the rest will be easy. We need to get some shelves for the baby's room as well, since we have no where to display some of her stuffed animals, books etc. Should be fun though!
I tried pumping last night and this morning. I haven't pumped in a while but it is nice to have some milk to bring with us when we go somewhere just in case. Well it has like no suction on it anymore and it's frustrating the HELL out of me. I hate pumping but right now I don't even have the OPTION to pump. GAWD. After this I will hate the words breast feeding and anything that has to do with it. It finally is going okay and then the pump is being a jerk. SERIOUSLY! I'm so annoyed at the moment. I was reading on the LLL boards and someone mentioned that it might be the membrane that needs to be changed. I have two extra ones that haven't been used at all so next time I try I will use one of those. If that doesn't the same then the book has a few suggestions, although really they are all common sense. Another person on the LLL boards also mentioned try taking it apart and making sure when you put it back together that everything is put together tightly. That seemed to work for them. So I have a few things to try. If none of those work I will probably bring it with us when we see Heidi in about 3 weeks and/or call Medela and see what they say. I really hope it's something easy like the membrane just needs to be replaced. Ugh. Stupid thing.
Tomorrow monkey gets her first needles and I am not looking forward to it. I hope they aren't as bad as I think it's going to be. I could barely stand it when they did the heel prick test, but that had to be worse then two needles. :( Tomorrow I am also going to ask his recommendations on what type of formula to get for her and how I would go about transitioning from bf to formula feeding. I know last weekend I was ready to give up bf but it seems to be going way better this week so I will keep trucking for as long as I can. Right now my goal is 6 months and hopefully I can stretch it out to at least a year. I really want to continue with it since it's the best for her and the perks of bf are so much better then bottle feeding. She also seems to be not taking as long although it's still every 2-3 hours and she is sleeping at least a 4-5 hours stretch at night so that is really helping. I think at one point this week while I was feeding her I was just looking down at her and thinking that I might actually miss it if I stopped and that just made me sad. It seems that I just have to keep taking those pills (3 of each) 3 times a day. I'm glad that they aren't that expensive! Hmm I might have to calculate how much it would cost to get to 6 months old if there is only enough pills in one bottle for 10 days. When I think of it like that, that kind of sucks. The last two times I tried weening myself off of them, everything got really shitty and stressful and it seemed like she was having a hard time. Those times really made me seriously consider formula, since the constant worry and stress gets exhausting after awhile.
These boards here at the LLL have really helped me, I haven't posted as of yet because all my questions have been answered. There are tons of other mothers out there that have gone through the same thing I have. If your breastfeeding and having trouble definitely check it out: http://forums.llli.org/index.php
I can't believe it's almost the end of May already. It seems like yesterday was my birthday and now it's almost June. Monkey is two months old now!! She was two months on Tues! Time flies by quickly! I also look at the breast feeding in that perspective as well. Sure it seems like it's a long time to do this, since it's so often and time consuming, but in the long run it's only a scratch on the surface and this time with baby will be gone so quickly even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. I want to do what's best for her and if it's only going to get easier I might try to get past 3 months and see how it is. If I give up now I will never know, and I didn't go through all that trouble to stop when it seems like it's going okay finally. Took a lot of tears , stress and determination to get this far I might as well keep trucking. Who knows though a few days from now I might feel differently again.
I also want to finish painting the baby's room this weekend. I just have to stop at Michael's and get the paint for the tree and leaves. I'm excited but scared to put anything over the green in case I screw it up lol! I probably will tape the outline of the tree first before starting then the rest will be easy. We need to get some shelves for the baby's room as well, since we have no where to display some of her stuffed animals, books etc. Should be fun though!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
