horrible times are upon us again... :(

Last night was a mess. I tried feeding her around 9-10ish and it was what I describe as a crappy feed. She was just falling asleep to much. So after 45mins to 1hour I took her off and just let her sleep. I feel asleep on the couch and Chris, when I woke up was in the bed sleeping and she was with him. It was almost 2am and I was upset because she should have been fed at around 12ish. Although I guess she was asleep and it was a five hour stretch. Anyways Chris checked her diaper and it was dry. This really scared me since I started worrying about dehydration and that is a bad thing for her go for 5 hours without a soiled diaper at all. I of course was freaking out and wanted to go to the hospital but I ended up trying to feed her and then we went back to sleep. The next time we woke up she did have a pee (which was somewhat of a relief) but it was reallllly light and was nothing like any of her other diapers. So of course a whole lot of worry on my part. I felt like she wasn't eating enough and I was having troubles feeding her and it still feels like I am feeding her all the time.

It was just not a good night. I really didn't get too much sleep. We decided in the morning to count her pees for the day (well I am still counting her diapers everyday anyways) and if she still wasn't peeing to much that after Chris was done work we would go to the hospital. I tried calling the doctor but he wasn't in that day nor was the receptionist. Thankfully she did have pees today some of them really heavy but some of them really light which was still worrisome for me. I felt the feeding sessions today were shitty I decided to call A6 and see if Heidi had any openings this week. She had told us the last time to come back in two weeks to see how my nipple crack was doing and of course if I had any troubles before that to come back anytime. So I made the appointment for Thurs this week at 3pm since she was not in on Friday since it's Good Friday. So that made me feel a bit better. I just decided to keep watching her pees and watching for any other signs of dehydration, which she is not showing any signs of yet thankfully.

baby's first pro photos!

Tonight we went to get monkey's baby photos taken at a local photographer. The website shows some good photos and her price was reasonable at $100 bucks. I was really worried about baby crying the whole time since this past weekend she seemed like anytime she was awake she was crying her head off. I had expressed milk throughout the day in case I needed to top her up or feed her at the photographers since she seems to be wanting to eat every two hours and that really isn't a whole lot of time to do anything. Good thing I did because she went through a crying fit and I really didn't want to breast feed her there - it's just to awkward and I didn't have my pillow with me. So she sort of calmed down after we gave her the milk. I can't wait to see the photos since she is such a little cutie. I just wish we got some more pics of her with her baby fat and naked but she didn't like those to much. IT might have been to cold in the room for her.

We were there for a long time! Our appointment was at 5 and we got home at like 8! It is good though that she didn't rush us out of there. She was really nice to. I can't wait to get the pics back we should have them before the weekend so it will be nice to have pics to show people when we go home :)

Baby doc appointment...

Baby's doc appointment today went well. All my questions were answered. They were mostly about dry skin (which is normal) and poop colours, (which the yellow/brown we are seeing is normal). Chalk it up to being a paranoid first time mother. I can't remember all that I asked. Anyways she weighed in at 9lbs 14 oz. He seemed happy with it although I was sort of confused since the last appointment with Heidi her scale said she was 9lbs 10 oz. So that gain didn't seem right to me but he seemed happy with it (although he hadn't seen us in two weeks). It was still a gain and I was happy since he was happy with it. It was a quick check up. The next one we have with him is at her two month appointment where she has to get some of her first needles. He suggested we get these emla patch things to put on the spot on her legs where he is going to give the shots to her. I guess they have meds in them that numbs the skin or something. I don't know but we have a few weeks to figure it out and where to get them. He mentioned Costco but since we don't have a card there anymore we really can't get them there.

plugged duct...

I'm relieved that the plugged duct that I found in my left breast yesterday is not hurting again today. There was a really hard lump and tender spot in my boob yesterday and upon reading about plugged ducts on the internet I put hot washcloth on it and on my nipple to hopefully get any dried milk out of it. Also made sure that every time I fed monkey I used that side first and pumped at least once on that side. I also am trying to relax my death grip I usually have when holding my left breast while feeding her. That could cause it to. I noticed a few hours that the soreness was gone to my relief. They are also constantly leaking to which is annoying and when they leak through the washable breast pads I have it just makes me feel gross! The reusables are okay for home but I need to get some disposable ones for when we go out and go home because I do not want wet spots on my clothes! So embarrassing :( I hope it won't be like that forever!!

The joys of having a baby I guess. All of this stuff I never considered/knew would happen/thought about when we finally decided it was time to have a baby. The things you learn. I mean monkey is totally worth it though, it's just not the funnest stuff sometimes. I guess it could be a lot worse though.

Ugh so the past few days baby has been really fussy and it's making me feel like she isn't getting enough food when she is eating. I can no longer tell if she is hungry or just fussy. It has been exhausting! At least the last few days Chris has been here but now that it's Monday I am by myself. I really wish she would sleep a bit so I don't feel like I have to hold her the whole time. I guess I will just feed her between 2-3 hours and not in between unless I can't get her to stop crying. The last poop she had to was a big one and that might be the reason at that time that she was fussy but it was almost a brown colour and had like little bits of what looked like white blobs in it. Not sure what to think but will definitely have to see what her poop colours are the next few times. I don't know if it was bits of milk or what, and if it is, is it normal? Bah!!

It took us a while last night to get her to fall asleep after she woke up at 4am in the morning for food. It was almost two hours before I finally offered her my breast again in hopes that would put her to sleep. She finally did fall asleep and stayed asleep. Giving her her soother didn't help before that either. She would fall asleep but every time Chris went to put her in the cradle she would wake up! So no sleep for either of us!

doc appointment...

So yesterdays doc appointment went well. She weighed in just shy of 9lbs. So she weighs 8lbs and 15oz, gaining 5oz last week. That made me feel even better then it did the week before. This last week has been better though, only had a few days or times that I felt completely overwhelmed but thankfully that never happened when I was home by myself. It's such a relief to know that she is doing well and gaining. Our next appointment is in two weeks, so hopefully she will have gained by that time as well. Breastfeeding still is a challenge but my left nipple doesn't hurt as much as it did. Still does but at least it's not as bad.

Today Tam and Mom came up to visit with us and the baby. Missy (my sister's eldest) who was up the day before at Steph's (my sister's middle child) came by before she went back home. I think it was the first time she saw monkey since she was born :) It was a good visit. Nice to see them since we don't get to go to far right now, to hard when I have to feed her every 2-3 hours. I like the option of feeding her expressed milk in a bottle though. That's what I did when they were here since she was getting cranky during there visit. She didn't eat to much just before they got here so it's nice to be able to do that. That way I don't disappear with her for 30-60 mins! Mom said that JP (older brother) and Jen (his gf) will probably drop by either today or tomorrow to see the baby. JP was going to come up last week with the two boys but since I had such a bad day on Saturday he thought he would just wait until this weekend.

I can't believe how fast the first few months of the year have gone by, especially the month of March. It's April's Fools day today already! Today we have a doc appointment to see if monkey is still gaining weight. Hopefully she has despite the problems I am still having with breast feeding (mostly just the pain and latching). She seems to be bigger I think so she must be getting enough, not to mention she has enough pees and poops so that is a good sign. We shall see in a few hours. I am glad it's the weekend though. It will be nice to have Chris here the whole day for a few days. Breastfeeding and taking care of baby right now is exhausting!